Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 91864 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91864 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
My feet rooted to the floor. “Met who for coffee?” I said with my back to her.
“Sean. He came to see me. He wanted me to know how wonderful you are. What I was missing.”
“Sean came to see you?” I asked, even though that’s what she’d just said.
“Yes. He loves you.”
“Do you?” I asked without looking at her.
“Yes. I’ve always loved you, I’m just not very good at showing it.”
I hadn’t always been good at it either. I knew what it was like to be closed off, to not let anyone in. Still…“I was a child. I needed you.” I turned around and faced her.
“I know. And there’s nothing I can do to fix it.”
“What do you want from me?” I asked.
“I don’t know…but I want to try for something. I lost my daughter when I was angry at her, so stubborn that I hadn’t been willing to see anything but my own anger and hurt. I was the same way with you, and then…hearing what happened to Sean, it made me realize life is short. What if that had been you? What if I lost you like I did your mother and I hadn’t tried to fix my mistakes?”
There was a part of me that wanted to hold her, wanted to tell her it was okay, but I was hurt. She hadn’t been there for me and now I had Sean to worry about. He was the most important thing.
“I can’t do this right now,” I told her. “Let me think. Let Sean get better and then…maybe.” It was the best I could do.
“Thank you.” I turned again when her voice stopped me. “They would be proud of you, Ethan. Both of your parents would.”
I paused. Smiled. “Yeah,” I told her. “Yeah, I know they would be, but thank you.”
My phone rang, interrupting us. I pulled it from my pocket and saw Barbara’s name on the screen. As soon as I answered, she said, “He’s waking up!” and I took off running for Sean’s room.
37
Sean
Everything was a blur around me, and I couldn’t move. I was surrounded by white walls and bright fluorescent lights. I could tell there was something lodged in my mouth, and my body wasn’t my own. It was like a dream I couldn’t wake myself from. I saw Mom and Dad hovering over me…and then Ethan. And suddenly I didn’t care if I was dreaming because it was just nice seeing him again. I didn’t have the energy to speak, though. I didn’t have the energy to do anything but glance around, where I noticed a woman in blue scrubs at an IV stand beside me.
The hospital. I was in a hospital, but I couldn’t figure out why I was there, and I didn’t have the strength to try and figure it out. Time was difficult to discern as well. I closed my eyes for what seemed like a moment before opening them again and noticing Mom, Dad, and Ethan wearing different clothes. It happened a few times, but I didn’t think anything of it.
Wasn’t that strange if I was really dreaming?
I opened my eyes and Ethan hovered over me, whispering, “Come on, my ninja. Come back to me.” And as I closed my eyes, I opened them again and I was eleven years old.
Brady shoved me to the floor.
I noticed I was in my white karate robe and so was he. He proudly sported his red belt while I had my yellow.
He looked down at me before striking a ready stance. “Get up,” he said.
“You already won. Can’t we play something else?”
“No, Sean. We’re gonna keep going until you get this.”
“You’re so much bigger than I am! It isn’t fair.”
“Life isn’t fair sometimes. Now get up.”
I folded my arms and shook my head.
He approached me and got on his knees, resting his hands on my shoulders and looking me dead in the eyes.
His sandy-brown bangs curled over his forehead, and his bright blue eyes shimmered in the light coming from the window behind us.
“Sean, I’m trying to help you.”
A powerful awareness overtook me.
I wasn’t a kid anymore, and Brady wasn’t alive.
I was dreaming. I must’ve been. But this wasn’t the sort of dream I usually had about him. They were never pleasant dreams that took me back to my childhood. Only the nightmares filled with guilt and sadness.
“Brady?” I said. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. But you seem to be getting on fine without me.”
“No, I’m not. We’re not, Brady. Our family isn’t the same without you.”
He scrunched up his face, and he smirked. “What are you talking about? I’m still around. You visit me all the time.”
“It’s not the same, and you know it.” As I felt tears coming on, he wrapped his arms around me and held me close.
Even though I knew it was a dream, the moment seemed so real, and I felt thrilled to be close to him again.