Total pages in book: 169
Estimated words: 162138 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 811(@200wpm)___ 649(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 162138 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 811(@200wpm)___ 649(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
Me: she’s fine. Find out what happened
I put my phone away and get another drink when she does. I might as well drink my sorrows away.
CHAPTER 36
LACHLAN
We walk back to her place in silence. Broody, uncomfortable silence that makes me itchy. I’m trying to figure out when the last time I apologized to anyone would have been, and come up short. It’s not that I can’t apologize. I’m man enough to admit when I fuck up. It’s just. . .what would I have apologized for? I’ve probably apologized to my mom and Liam at some point in my life. Never a woman. I need to apologize to her, though. I fucked up. I knew I was fucking up the moment I kissed her and demanded that she marry me and go back to Fairview. I knew it but I did it, anyway, because my anger overrode everything else.
She didn’t deserve it. She doesn’t deserve it. And yet, I can’t right this wrong. I still need her to marry me. I still need to go back to Fairview. I know that until that’s not handled, she won’t be with me. I scoff at my own thoughts. I don’t even know if that’s an option anymore, but the thought of being apart from her any longer hurts too much for me to consider anything else. I’ll chase her for the rest of my life and prove to her that I can be worthy of her, if that’s what it’ll take. We’re quiet as we walk into the lobby, the elevator, down the hall, and finally, into her apartment.
“I’m sorry,” I say, as soon as the door shuts behind us.
She sets down her purse and looks at me. Expressionless. Fuck, I can’t let her do this. I can’t let her go blank on me. I have a feeling that if she puts up walls between us, I won’t be able to tear them down this time. It’s a terrifying thought. A possibility I can’t live with. I follow her into the bedroom.
“Lyla.”
She ignores me, walks into her closet, and starts taking off her jewelry. She sweeps her hair to one side and tilts her neck a little as she unclasps her necklace. Even the way she does that is hot. Is that even possible? I stand at the entrance, leaning against the wall, waiting for her to acknowledge me. She doesn’t even spare me a glance to scowl at me. This is bad. This is really fucking bad.
“I’m sorry,” I repeat.
“I heard you,” she says.
“I really am.”
“I said I heard you.” Her eyes flash to mine. “I’m trying to figure out if I even give a fuck anymore.”
My heart sinks. No, fuck no.
“Don’t say that.”
“I can’t do this with you, right now. I’m tired. It’s been a long day and tomorrow will be another one. I’m sure every day that follows until this contract is over will be, as well. Just let me have peace in my own fucking apartment, for fuck’s sake.”
I don’t respond. What can I even say? She grabs her pajamas and I take a step back to let her walk out of the closet and go to the bathroom. She shuts the door and locks it. The sound is so jarring that it makes me realize this might be the first time she’s locked it since I’ve been here. God damn, this is fucking bad. I sit at the edge of the bed and wait for her. I don’t even remember what I’m supposed to be angry at her for. I was mad about my hockey situation. I was mad that I had to jump hurdles to find her. I gave up hockey to fucking find her, and when I finally did she was. . .it doesn’t matter.
None of it matters anymore because she flipped this on me. She plays this game much better than I do, and I’m okay with that. God, she went to the fucking hospital. Was she attacked as badly as I’d been? My throat closes up at the prospect of that. She was probably alone in the hospital. I’m sure Marissa was there. Definitely, Prescott, since he was the one who gave me the news that she was gone. But that’s it. Her dad visited me with all of my coaches, so he couldn’t have been with her. Not that she would have wanted him there. All I know is that I wasn’t there. She probably didn’t even get any flowers. Fuck. She was in a fucking hospital bed when she sent me those flowers. I’m sure of it. I set my elbows on my knees and bury my face in my palms. I can’t lose this girl again. It can’t be too late to redeem myself. I don’t know how I’m going to pull this off, but I have to.