Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81182 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81182 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
“I don’t think it’s that easy,” I say quietly, and his fingers around mine spasm. “I mean, sure, that sounds great in theory, but the idea of leaving the safety of the relationship you’re in—even if it’s toxic—is sometimes more terrifying than sticking around for the same thing to happen again.”
“That’s fucked.”
“You’re right, it is. But it’s also true, and as a woman and a mom, she was probably scared of what might happen if she left your dad.”
“Better the devil you know.”
“Exactly,” I whisper. “Do you talk to them at all?”
“They email and call all the time. Our lack of a relationship isn’t because of a lack of effort on their part. I just don’t know how to get over what I saw and heard as a kid, or how to separate that from who they are as people now.”
“Parents, even great ones, have a tendency to mess us up.” I shrug. “I mean, I love my mom and dad, and we’re close—really close. But my dad’s overprotectiveness was a lot for me to deal with, so instead of dealing with it, I moved an ocean away so I could stretch my wings.”
“Babe,” he says quietly, and I shrug.
“We all have our thing, right?”
“Right.”
“I don’t know how you’d go about changing your relationship with your dad, because the way he treated your mom was horrible, and I can understand why it would be hard to respect him enough to give him a second chance. But you should work on your relationship with your mom. She didn’t do anything wrong except love a man who didn’t deserve that from her.”
The sound he makes isn’t one of agreement or of denial, and it’s not my place to keep pushing. Even if we were to get married and have kids one day, I would never do more than encourage that relationship. Because it wasn’t me who went through what he did, so I don’t fully understand the deep-seated hurt he carries around. And it wouldn’t be fair of me to try to force a relationship on him that he either isn’t ready for or doesn’t want.
When we arrive back at the house, all the anxiousness and grief I felt before we left comes crashing back down on me making me feel sick. And when Walker opens the door, I hesitate to even step inside.
“Come on.” He takes my hand but doesn’t pull me along. He waits until I walk through the door myself. The lights above us are working, and it smells like paint—something I didn’t notice before. Then again, it was still light out when we left for Douglas’s house. “Pack a bag.”
“What?” I ask as he closes the door behind us when we step inside my apartment.
“I’m going to find us a room for the night. Tomorrow, we can start looking at apartments.”
“I thought you said I should wait to talk to Office Taylor?”
“I did, but that was before I watched you turn white as a ghost when we pulled up to the house. Pack a bag. Mizzy will be okay over night alone, and tomorrow, I’ll see if there is a short-term rental I can get us into until we find a place.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Do you want to be here?”
“No.”
“Then let me take care of you, go pack.” he orders softly, touching his lips to mine, before pushing me toward the bedroom. I spend less than fifteen minutes getting a bag together and by the time I meet him in the kitchen, he’s fed Mizzy and secured us a room at the hotel where the guys are staying and the minute we leave the apartment I feel like I can breathe again.
CHAPTER 18
hanna
It’s official. I can’t afford to live in the city. I look over the top of my computer at Walker, who is sitting with my feet on his lap, and he drops the book in his hand to his chest to meet my gaze. “I thought I was getting a great deal from Mrs. Lewis for my apartment, but I was wrong. She was basically letting me live there for free.”
“How much are the apartments you’re finding?” he asks rubbing the top of my foot.
“Over four grand.” I sigh, closing my laptop and placing it on the floor of the short-term rental he got us.
“What are you paying now?” He sets his book aside, then grabs my hand and pulls me over to straddle his lap.
“Fifteen hundred, and that included my lights and gas.”
“She loved you.”
“She didn’t even know me. I was literally walking down the street when I saw a For Rent sign in the window. She just so happened to be outside, so I asked her if she knew anything about it.” My nose stings. “She told me she owned the building and offered to show me the apartment right there on the spot, and I just followed her inside.”