Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 114775 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 574(@200wpm)___ 459(@250wpm)___ 383(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114775 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 574(@200wpm)___ 459(@250wpm)___ 383(@300wpm)
So, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that this is the way it is. Spinsterhood for Daisy, and I’m totally fine with it.
My life isn’t lacking. I have a good life. I have Jesse.
Even though he just left me for university.
I’m not going to cry again.
I have the coffee shop to keep me busy.
My life is as good as it’s going to be. And I’m okay with that.
When I look at the way my life was…and how it could’ve turned out…this life is a dream compared to that.
Of course I get lonely. Especially at night when I look at that empty space in my bed where I wish Kas were lying.
But he’s gone.
He’s been gone a long time, and there’s nothing I can do to change that.
It’s just sometimes hard, knowing that he’s out there, living his life without me.
I wonder if he’s happy.
I hope he’s happy. He deserves to be.
I just wish we could have been happy together.
My phone rings on the counter. I smile at the caller display.
“Missing me already?”
Jesse’s laugh echoes down the line. “Just checking to make sure you’re not still bawling your eyes out.”
“I did not bawl.”
“There was snot on my T-shirt from where you’d blubbered on me.”
“Oh God.” I wince. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m just teasing. It’s nice to know you’re gonna miss me. I just hate to see you cry and know I’m the reason for it.”
“They were happy tears and sad tears and proud tears. I’m gonna miss you so much, but I’m incredibly proud of you, Jesse, for getting into university. You’re going to get your degree and become a lawyer. God, I cannot wait until the day I see you in your cap and gown, up on that stage, receiving your degree.”
“I haven’t even started my courses yet”—he laughs—“and you’ve already got me graduated.”
“Yeah, well, I just know you’re gonna rock it.”
There’s silence on the line that has me asking, “Are…you okay?”
He sighs. “Yeah. It’s just…I guess it’s weird, being here. In a new place. You know, where I just have a bedroom, and the rest is shared facilities with the other guys. It kinda reminds me of the boys home. The first night I spent there after you were arrested.”
My throat closes up. “Jesse…”
“I’m not blaming you, Daisy. Jesus, of course I’m not. I hate the fact that I ever doubted you and blamed you. Just sitting here brought back some sad memories for me, and…I guess…I wanted to hear your voice. Just remind myself that we’re here now, and it’s different. That things are good. And you’re fine.”
I swallow back tears. “We’re here, and it is different. It’s amazing. I’m fine, kiddo. And I couldn’t be prouder of you.”
I feel his smile.
“You already said that.”
I smile myself. “And I’m gonna keep saying it, so you’d better get used to it.”
I hear a voice in the background, and Jesse says, “Be there in a minute.”
“Everything okay?” I ask.
“Yeah, just the guys I live with are going to the pub. They’ve invited me to go with them.”
“Go. Don’t let me keep you. And have fun. And don’t drink too much. And be safe. And I love you.”
He laughs, and the sound washes through me like a sweet melody.
“I will. And I won’t. And of course I will. And…I love you, too, Mayday.”
He disconnects the call, and I breathe through the emotion.
Don’t cry. You’ve cried enough today.
Blowing out a breath, I get to my feet to start the cleanup before I lock up for the night.
I always like a little music to clean to. Like I used to when I cleaned the Matis Estate. I used to wear my earphones then, so as not to piss off Kas.
He always was easy to piss off.
But this is my place, and I can listen to music as loud as I want. Well, without annoying the neighboring businesses, that is.
Setting my phone on the counter beside the coffee machine, I go to my music and select Zayn’s “Like I Would.”
This song reminds me of Kas. It was playing that night in the club when he sabotaged my date with Cooper and was waiting for me outside the restroom.
I like to torture myself with it every now and then.
Sad, but I like to think of myself as being the one singing the lyrics to Kas.
I’m telling him that he will never find anyone who will love him like I would love him. Do love him.
And, yes, I’m that sad.
In Kas’s mind, I’m probably just a bad memory of a time that he’d rather forget.
He walked away. He was right to.
And, now, he’s probably moved on to some gorgeous Greek beauty who isn’t saddled with a world of emotional baggage and who doesn’t remind him of death and other things I choose not to think about because, if I do, my head might explode.