Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 79438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
“There’s so much I need to tell you.”
I turn my body to face her and lean a little closer. “We have a lot to talk about. Do you mind if I go first? I really need to explain my behavior from Saturday night.”
She shakes her head, the tissue in her hand being obliterated to pieces as she fidgets. “Okay.
I take a deep breath before I start, “I was shocked to see your father and Theo Jackson. It’s been six years since the court case, and seeing them made the trauma of losing Dylan resurface.”
Lily lifts her eyes to me, and seeing them drowning in sadness takes a swing at my heart. “I’m so sorry. If I’d known…”
I place my hand on her knee. “I’m not blaming you. I just want you to understand how I felt.”
She nods as she takes a quivering breath. “Okay.”
“I have really bad panic attacks,” I admit to her.
Lily’s eyes lock on mine as her eyebrows pull together again.
I clear my throat, then continue, “I’ve been having them less and less, but Saturday night’s panic attack hit me off my feet.” I lean closer to her, and mean every word as I say, “I didn’t mean to shout at you. I wish I could turn back time, Lily. I feel fucking horrible for kicking you out of the car, but I didn’t want you to see me like that.”
She nods before grabbing another tissue to tear apart. “I was worried you’d get into an accident. Where did you go?”
“To my dad’s place. He gave me a sedative that knocked me out.”
Lily’s eyes are filled with concern. “Are you better now?”
I nod, and moving my hand to hers, I brush my thumb over the swelling around her wrist.
“A therapist said I have PTSD from losing Dylan.”
Her face tightens with remorse. “I’m so sorry for taking you to the party.”
I shake my head. “I just need you to understand where my head was at.” Needing to address one more thing, I say, “I’d never hit you.”
Her eyes jump to mine. “I only got between you and Theo because I didn’t want you arrested for assault.”
Jesus. Lily was protecting me.
I lift my hand to her face and tuck some hair behind her ear. “Thank you, baby.”
“I understand why you pushed me away, but if we’re going to be together, I need to know next time something like that happens you’ll let me help you.”
“Okay,” I agree because I’ll do anything for her.
“You have to tell me what and what not to do, so when you have a panic attack, I can help you through it.”
The corner of my mouth curves up. “Okay.”
Lily falls silent and stares down the pieces of Kleenex on her lap.
“Tell me what happened after I left,” I say, keeping my tone soft.
She closes her eyes, and the intense pain on her face almost sends me into a fit of rage.
“My parents and sister came over.” Her voice sounds hollow as fuck. “They demanded I stop seeing you.”
“What did you tell them?”
Her eyes lift to my face. “That I choose you.”
Fuck. She chose me.
Needing to hear her answer, I ask, “Why have you never spoken to me about your parents and who they are?”
She lowers her head, her voice soft as she says, “It’s a painful topic.”
I take hold of her chin and nudge her face up until her eyes meet mine. “Tell me, Lily.”
I watch as an intense wave of pain hits her, and it guts me.
“I don’t even know where to start.” Her tongue darts out to wet her lips, then she begins, “I’m a disappointment to my family. They’re all involved in law. My father wanted me to get a law degree, but instead, I studied art.” She lets out a burst of laughter that sounds so fucking sad. “He called my art a whim I needed to get over.”
I remember her saying I was the first person who saw her paintings. “Have they seen your work?”
She shakes her head. “They’ve never taken an interest in me or my life. My father threatened to disown me if I didn’t study law.”
Anger bubbles in my chest, and I clench my jaw in an attempt to control the violent emotion.
“My family have BBQs and dinners, and they forget to invite me. My mother and sister go shopping and never ask me to come along. Whenever I call them, they’re busy. When I send messages, they take forever to respond or just ignore me. They’ve basically pushed me out of the family.”
I stare at Lily as if she’s lost her mind, unable to believe her family could be so cruel to her.
Christ, I should’ve fucking punched her father.
“Anyway,” she sighs, “my father gave me the ultimatum to study law or he’d wash his hands of me. That was the day you came over because my phone was off.”