Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 94687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
I placed another box on top of the pyramid. “Just that I think we’ve both been struggling with something. He needed to feel like his old self again. And I needed closure on a chapter of my life. I feel like we both got something we needed, not just something we wanted.”
Frannie was silent as we finished arranging the favors. When the crates were empty, she turned to me. “Are you seeing him naked again tonight?”
“Probably.”
“Okay, don’t be mad at me for asking this, but are you sure sleeping with Tyler is going to give you closure?”
I sighed. “I’m not sure of anything, Frannie. I just know that it feels really good to be with him. I’m trying not to read into it too hard.”
“Okay, okay.” She held up both hands. “I don’t want to rain on your parade, I just want you to move forward, not backward. Fun and games is one thing, but feelings are another.”
“I know. But this honestly doesn’t feel like a backward move.” I stuck my hands on my hips, shaking my head. “I can’t explain it, but it really does feel like I’m getting myself unstuck.”
She smiled. “I’m happy for you. I’ll see you tonight.”
Frannie’s question lingered in my head the rest of the day. My answer had been the truth—I wasn’t at all sure that sleeping with Tyler was going to give me closure, since my issues really weren’t with him, they were with my feelings surrounding the adoption. In order to really have closure, I needed an answer to my letter.
But I had no control over that, and the reality of it was, I never would. If the family chose to ignore my letter, I’d have to move on without ever knowing the boy I’d given birth to and be okay with it.
In the meantime, I didn’t see the harm in flexing my sexual muscles a little bit with a guy who made me feel like a million bucks, whether he was a piece of my past or not. It wasn’t like we were hurting anyone.
I was in my office changing into my dress when Tyler called me.
“Hello?”
“Hey, you. Whatcha up to?”
“I’m taking my clothes off. Wish you were here.”
He groaned. “Will you take them off again for me later?”
I laughed. “Not unless you buy more condoms.”
“Already done. I went to the drugstore and got an entire box. We can have very, very safe sex many, many times.”
“Then I’ll think about it. How’s your day?”
“Good. I worked out, then went over to the high school and watched practice.”
“Oh yeah? How was it?”
“It was better than I thought. The kids were really cool, and there were no asshole parents around.”
“Glad to hear it. Did you watch the one lefty kid pitch?”
“I did, and he’s good. He needs work on his motion, but he’s got a lot of potential.”
I sighed. “I haven’t been to a high school game in years.”
“Well, what’s the point if I’m not playing?”
“Oh, Jesus. Can you see my eyes rolling back in my head from where you are?”
He laughed, and the sound made my heart quicken. “Just about. Anyway, I just wanted to say hi. I’m back at the hotel getting ready now. I have to go over to Sadie’s and take pictures soon.”
“And you have to be there precisely at three o’clock, so you better get going. I’ll see you here after that.”
“Okay.”
But neither one of us hung up.
“April?” His voice was quiet.
“Yeah?”
“I had a really good time last night.”
I smiled as a tingle swept up my spine. “Me too.”
I went a little weak in the knees when I saw him walk in. He looked great in a baseball uniform, hot as hell in nothing at all, and downright delectable in a suit and tie. Watching him come through the door and walk toward me, my jaw dropped open and I may have drooled.
But that was nothing compared to watching him lead his sister down the aisle.
From my position over to the side, I motioned for the string quartet to start the song Sadie had chosen for her processional. His gorgeous face had been stoic as he’d walked arm in arm with Sadie from the building over toward the orchard. But they’d exchanged the most adorable affectionate look at the foot of the aisle as everyone stood, and my heart melted. I knew they were both thinking of their father, maybe even their mom too, and my throat grew tight.
When they reached the end, he kissed her cheek before shaking Josh’s hand, and she smiled at him one last time before he took his seat in the front row.
Wishing I could go sit at his side, I observed the ceremony from the back, then coordinated the recessional and directed the wedding party one way and the guests another. Tyler looked at me as he walked by, and I put my hand over my heart.