Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 76757 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76757 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
“And now?”
“Now, I’m not so sure. Now I feel as though they, meaning my parents, toyed with me. They made me believe the version they wanted.” It was more my mother, but my father stayed silent on the matter. He’s guilty by association. He’s gone, and I hate that I’ll never get to ask him why.
“What did they tell you?”
“When the doctor told me I was pregnant, and it was obvious that my memory was gone, Mom told me that you left me. That I told you about the baby and you told me to end it and that you never wanted to see me again. Well, I say you, but my ‘man friend’ is how she referred to you. She refused to give me your name and told me I was better off without your hatred in my life.”
“I didn’t know. I promise you, if I had known, I wouldn’t have stopped until I found you.” Resting his elbows on the table, he runs his hands over his face. “I shouldn’t have taken her word for it. I knew she hated me, but when you didn’t reply to any of my calls or messages, I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know what I would have wanted. I’m… confused. I don’t know why my mother would do this.”
“Earlier, you said she hated the name Kendrix?”
“Yes. She was pissed at me for weeks. She still refuses to call her that. It’s always Grandma’s girl or something. She rarely uses her given name unless she’s scolding her.”
“Kendrix, Kenton, they have a nice ring to them,” he says, giving me a smile.
I appreciate that he’s trying to lighten the mood with all the heavy that surrounds us. “They have similarities,” I agree with him. “Look, I don’t know you, and I’m sorry I don’t remember our time together. If you are her father, I won’t keep her from you.”
“I’m her father.”
“How are you so certain? Dark hair and similar facial features could just be a coincidence.”
“It’s not. You told me you had something to tell me that night. I was afraid you were going to tell me that you were in love with me. I didn’t know what to say. I only wanted you, but I’d never said those words to a woman, unless you count my mom. I was scared of what I felt for you and I didn’t face it. I was leaving to meet you when the guys called asking me to meet up for a beer. I went there first. I sat at the table nursing a beer all night, my mind constantly on you. I’m sorry about that. I should have been there for you. I made you think you weren’t important to me, and that’s not what it was. I was an idiot.”
“I wouldn’t know.” I shrug as if I’m letting his words bounce off my shoulders. The truth is, the sincerity of his words penetrates my soul. After thinking for years he had cast me aside, it’s nice to sit face-to-face and learn that wasn’t the case at all. He loved me.
“I want to be in her life. I want to hear about your pregnancy and delivery. I want to know her first words and when she took her first steps. I want to know it all. I’ve missed so much.”
“Don’t you think we should have the test done first?”
“No. She’s mine.”
“I think we should have the test done before you meet her. She’s going to be five in a couple of months. She’s smart and picks up on things quickly. She’s asked me already where her daddy is.”
“W-What did you tell her?”
“That Daddy lived far away with his family and couldn’t be with us.” He gives me a “really” look. “I panicked. It’s not like I wanted to tell her my mother’s version of the story. I couldn’t tell her that her father told me to end my pregnancy. I had to think of something. I didn’t have my own memory, and I refused to make her think less of you. Not without me knowing, without me remembering the truth. That’s all I could come up with when she put me on the spot.” I always hoped my memory would come back. I would have my own version, my own words and memories to help make her understand.
“When can we do the test? I have five years to make up for.”
“She and my mother are flying in on Thursday.”
“What time?”
“Kent, I don’t want you to meet her until the test is done.”
“Schedule it,” he says through gritted teeth. “I’ve missed enough time with her. In fact, I’ll schedule it. What time does their flight land?”
“They should be here early afternoon.”
He nods. “I’ll look into having someone come to you. I don’t want her scared by going to the hospital.”