Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 141810 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 709(@200wpm)___ 567(@250wpm)___ 473(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 141810 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 709(@200wpm)___ 567(@250wpm)___ 473(@300wpm)
Almost there. Just a couple more steps to the top. Then onto invisible mode in one of the back pews where hopefully no one would notice him.
But as he reached the last step, barely holding back the floodgates, two men in suits blocked his way.
“Max Kelley. The Sanders Family has requested that you not be permitted to enter.”
Max’s brain did a big ole what-the-fuck as his lips parted in utter disbelief. Kevin’s parents stationed men outside to keep Max from his best friend’s funeral? Whole new level of asshole-ism. Too far up the scale to comprehend.
Anger surged with a vengeance. He refused to back down. The men before him might be bigger than the average, but Max’s temper was a big fucker, too. How dare they deny him entrance to Kevin’s funeral. Though, truth be told, he was almost grateful for these dickheads and their fucking audacity. It allowed him a reprieve from his debilitating sadness, letting the rage inside him momentarily take over.
Squaring his shoulders, Max glared steely daggers. “That’s not very Christian-like. Let me by and I’ll forgive you.”
“Sorry. They were adamant. You’re not allowed in.”
“Wow. Rude much? What-frickin’-ever.” He tried to push past them. “Just let me through and I’ll tell them you passed along the memo.”
But the men stood their ground. Wouldn’t budge a fucking inch. Max so didn’t need this bullshit right now. He was barely holding it together as it was. His fragmented mind raced haphazardly in his skull.
“Please.” He’d try one last time for civility. “He was my best friend. I just want to say goodbye.”
“Sorry.”
Which left Max with only two options: Leave peacefully or raise fucking hell.
Yup, he’d be raising fucking hell.
Heart pounding riotously, Max let loose a shout, fire dousing his veins as he started to shove. “Just move, goddamn it! Just let me in!”
Behind the two men, the church doors swung open, Mr. Sanders marching out with a scowl. “Get out of here, Max. You know you’re not welcome.”
Max shoved even harder, tears of anguish mixing with his fury. “I deserve to be here!” he hollered, voice cracking. “We were best friends! He’d want me here! He loved me, damn it! And I fucking loved him, too!”
The last of Mr. Sanders’ decorum snapped. “You loved him? Is that why you damned his soul? So he’d spend all eternity with you in hell?!”
Pain ripped through Max’s ribs. How could he say such a thing, let alone believe it? Had the last seven years of Kevin and Max’s friendship suddenly ceased to exist?
“You’re an asshole!” Max shouted as the two men grabbed his arms.
Mr. Sanders glowered. “Get him out of here.”
But as the men complied, Max just let it all go.
“You’re the reason he killed himself! You and your wife! Because you’re cruel, sadistic, homophobic bastards!”
Mr. Sanders paled. Max’s handlers froze mid-step. Ah. Guess Kevin’s parents were ashamed of their son, and keeping his perverted depravity a secret.
Mr. Sanders bristled. “You shut your mouth.”
“Why?!” Max yelled. “Don’t want people to know? That that perfect little son of yours was gay?! That he killed himself because you threatened to disown him?! That you were forcing him to go through experimental chemical therapy?!”
“Enough!” Sanders thundered. “Get out of my sight! I can’t—I can’t listen to anymore!”
Jerking around, he stormed back inside as the suited thugs ushered Max to his truck. He didn’t fight them anymore after that. Just climbed behind the wheel. Shut the door. Then bawled his fucking heart out.
* * * * *
Nightfall took forever—not that everything wasn’t perpetually dark for Max anyways—yet at the same time came way too fast. For something Max needed to do, but dreaded. Dreaded with every cell of his being. Visit Kevin’s grave, where he’d been buried hours earlier. To get closure. To say goodbye. To somehow make his peace. But he had to wait for the cemetery to close first to do so. After he’d been denied entrance to attend Kevin’s service, Max had waited in the parking lot, then discreetly trailed the funeral procession to find out the location of Kevin’s grave. He’d planned to head in after everyone left, but a few attendees remained behind. Looked like the Sanders had arranged for their son’s final resting place to be safeguarded from unwanted visitors. Aka Max. Which twisted that knife in his chest even deeper, even though he wasn’t exactly surprised. They hated him now. Loathed him even. With not one ounce of compassion for what he was going through.
Heartless motherfuckers. How had Kevin come from such insensitive pricks?
So, Max had been forced to wait it out until the cemetery finally closed. Parked inconspicuously across the street, he watched as grounds keepers ushered people out, then locked up the black iron gates. Almost time. His heart raced anxiously in the silence of his truck. Because he hadn’t dared turn on the radio. Couldn’t. No way. Already made that mistake. Quickly discovering that what he’d hoped would distract him only wrenched his heartache that much higher. Every note, every lyric, of every fucking song, somehow managing to remind him of Kevin. Of what they once had. Of what they’d never have again.