Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 75481 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75481 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
The space looked just as disastrous as before, maybe even more so, but Rowan was still nowhere in sight. I only briefly took in the amazing view before recognizing a familiar bag of food on the kitchen counter, the delicious smell hitting my gut. Well, he had to be around here somewhere.
Maybe in the bathroom. But that door was standing wide open.
“Rowan?” I called out, and when there was still no answer, my gut churned, afraid something was seriously wrong.
I padded toward the cracked bedroom door, and that was when I heard soft music and what sounded like a couple of fans turned to full blast. At the door, I saw a form lying in bed with covers heaped on top of him.
Rowan was obviously asleep, so it was no wonder he didn’t hear me.
Maybe I should’ve left right then, but something compelled me forward. Maybe he was sick or needed help. Why else would he be dead asleep at dinnertime?
What I saw as I neared the bed made my knees feel weak. Rowan’s hair was a wreck as he slept soundly against his pillow, but his face was soft, his features relaxed, as if the worries of his day hadn’t followed him into his dreams.
24
I stood there watching him like some creeper, but I couldn’t help myself. Just as I was about to see myself out, he stirred. Would he want me to wake him?
“Ro…are you okay?” I asked softly. “Do you need anything?”
It took him a moment to open his eyes, and then they widened as he took me in. “Shae…what…?” He looked toward the window. “I didn’t realize… I only meant to take a power nap. Guess I slept longer than anticipated.”
“Well, you obviously needed it.” I crept toward the foot of the bed. “Were you up late?”
“Something like that,” he muttered.
“You know you can talk to me, right?” I made a frustrated sound. “After everything we’ve—”
“After everything, you’re still leaving, so…” He looked away.
“Ouch. I’m only quitting my job. You take it personally, like I’ve insulted you professionally.”
“Well, haven’t you?” He pulled the covers to his chin. “You’re essentially saying you can’t work with me.”
“Not exactly.” I sighed. “But can you blame me?”
“I apologized for the photo shoot,” he sputtered as if that solved everything. “And maybe there are other things I should apologize for too…”
“No, I just… It’s time.” I gave him a pointed look. “It’s hard to be around you for other reasons as well.”
“You mean because we were lovers?”
“Lovers? Pretty sure that term went out of style in the eighties.” I snickered. “But okay, lover…my sartorial lover. Oh hey, I used that word in a sentence.”
“I should be proud,” he deadpanned. “And yes, lovers or hookups or whatever. But had we kept going on that trajectory…”
“Someone would’ve found out and thought poorly of you or me or us. Whatever. We’ve been through this before.”
“That’s actually not what I was trying to say before you rudely blathered on.”
I crossed my arms. “Fine, go ahead.”
“I was only going to say that soon enough, you would want more…or maybe less. And I can’t…” He raked his fingers through his hair.
I thought of what Kendall had said about not feeling worthy and then about his preferences and how tricky he felt that was to navigate with people. But I also felt beyond exasperated with him.
“Guess you’ll never know,” I bit out. “You won’t even give it a chance, for fuck’s sake. Maybe it would be you who’d want less. For someone so full of himself, you sure seem to miss the best parts of yourself. Your fierce loyalty, generosity, pride in your work. You’re even sort of adorable and fun to hang out with sometimes. If you tell anyone, I’ll deny it.” That got a weak grin out of him. “But okay, I get it. I offended you by quitting, and you’ve been hurt by past lovers, but you won’t even trust me enough to tell me about what went down with Lorenzo, all because I’m soon to be your former employee? Suppose I was wrong to assume we were becoming friends.” He was obviously hurt and lonely and needed someone there for him. The dumbass. Frustration burned in my gut. “Well, if you change your mind, you know how to find me. I’ll see myself out.”
I made it to the door before he said, “Wait.”
I turned toward him.
“I, um, ordered those pot stickers you love so much. They’re in a bag in the kitchen.”
Ugh, why did he have to go and do that? “Okay, and…?”
“Did you want to stay and…and…”
Suddenly all the fight went out of me. It was hard to resist this man, and I would probably regret this decision, but…those fucking yummy pot stickers.
“How about I fix us a couple of plates, and you meet me out there?”