Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 75481 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75481 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
The production was fantastic, and I was so proud of him. I took photos of the set before and after to show my family and friends at work—I even half-heartedly offered a view to Rowan in an effort to get some normalcy back between us. He’d been right to end things, and it was my fault that I couldn’t shake what happened between us.
The flowers Rowan had sent were still displayed prominently on the kitchen table when we got home, and I couldn’t stop marveling at them. At Rowan’s foresight and thoughtfulness. At what a conundrum he was. Sometimes so arrogant and other times so giving. Generous.
“I still can’t believe you get to do all the cool stuff,” Casey said, pulling off a dead leaf.
“Um, hello, Mr. I Build Cool Broadway Sets.”
“Off-Broadway,” he retorted.
“Don’t make it sound like it was no big deal.”
He sighed. “You’re right. It was cool, and thanks for coming to see the show—with those awesome sneakers you scored from Melrose Avenue.”
I looked at my feet. I’d been wearing them all week, and even Rowan took notice. “I still feel guilty for splurging.”
“You shouldn’t. You’ve earned it.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” By taking a job that was challenging in more ways than one. “And I think I might’ve decided to explore a career in public relations or something like that. I have an appointment with my academic adviser next week.”
The stuff I’d seen and heard from being around celebrities had piqued my interest. At least it was something after all this time. Kendall was always talking about messaging with her people, and I was intrigued enough to search the internet one night.
“You want to be a publicist?” Casey asked, and I shrugged. “What do they do exactly?”
“Guess I’ll find out, but as far as I know, they handle communication, social media, and messaging for a person or corporation. Stuff like that.”
“Well, then, this job is a good jumping-off point.”
I grew quiet, thinking about how everything had suddenly changed. Now feelings were involved, and it was clouding my vision. I hated how my stomach ached every time Rowan and I were in the same room. I wanted to think it affected him too because of how often I’d caught him staring at me, but I wasn’t sure and likely never would be. Rowan was too good at battening down the hatches on his emotions.
“Oh no,” Casey said, staring at me. “You’ve got it bad.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Something happened in LA with Rowan.”
My whole face heated. “How can you tell?”
“You’ve been acting different, but I didn’t want to say anything in case I was wrong.”
“Oh, Casey…” My shoulders slumped. “We hooked up, and he’s so…hot and…and it was so good…”
“So you no longer hate him,” he stated as if it were a foregone conclusion.
“He’s still arrogant and irritating, so I’m probably all mixed up. But I’ve also seen other sides of him that I really enjoy. He can be sweet and giving and…completely fascinating.” Had I ever really hated him? Sure, we were different, and he was driven and uptight in ways I never was, but I didn’t hate him. In fact, just the opposite. “But he’s my boss, and he drew that line very plainly.”
He narrowed his eyes. “How so?”
I forked my fingers through my hair in frustration. “I’m an adult. It’s not like he coerced me into hooking up. In fact, it was more me. Fuck, I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter because it won’t happen again. He made that abundantly clear.”
The plane ride home had been excruciating because I was examining every little look. But by the time Monday afternoon rolled around, it was just more of the same.
“How does that feel?”
“Shitty. But he’s not wrong.” I also wondered if he was putting distance between us because he’d shared a whole bunch with me and that left him feeling flayed open. But damn, it certainly helped me put together some pieces of the puzzle. Though there were plenty more to go.
Talk about being hung up on someone emotionally unavailable.
“You always had fun with different guys. What makes this feel so different?”
“I’m not sure I can explain it.”
“It’s the magical peen, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s not like that.” I didn’t want to go there, or I was liable to pour out my guts on how layered this man really was. “He’s been tender and attentive and…I don’t know. Maybe he does have some sort of mystical ability.”
“What he’s got is leverage, and that’s not good. Maybe it was the forbidden factor for you. Or all the frustration of dealing with him for so long made for some good sexual tension. I think you’re not seeing straight, so maybe it’s good to end it.”
I frowned. “You’re probably right.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt, and this seems totally opposite from how you used to feel about him, so I want you to be careful…” His tone softened. “But I’ve never seen you like this before, so maybe that means something.”