Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 45210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 226(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 226(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
He smirks and takes a step toward me. He drops his voice so there’s no way Emerson can hear us. “I knew she would come here because she has called me every week for the last two years.”
My heart starts to race, and my whole body feels hot. The thought of Emerson calling Walker to talk bothers me. I don’t want to try to analyze why it bothers me so much, but it does. My jaw is pulled so tight I practically grunt out my response. “Why has she called you for the last two years?”
He laughs and shakes his head. “One reason and one reason only. She called every week to check on you and to see how you were doing.”
I shrug. “We’re friends, and of course—”
He cuts me off before I can get it all out. “Bullshit. That’s bullshit, Kanan, and you know it. You may have started off as friends, but I see the way you two look at each other. I know how protective you are of her. There’s more to it than friendship.”
I suck in a breath and then another. It’s like I can’t get enough oxygen into my lungs. “Nothing… I mean nothing has happened between us. I would never…” I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I would never betray Randall—”
As soon as I say his name, Walker tenses up. Randall is still hard for any of us to talk about. Losing him changed everything, and it sucks because I know we’ll never get over it. Especially me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get past it.
Walker looks angry. “Come with me.”
He doesn’t wait for me to respond; he starts walking down the path, and I don’t have any choice but to follow him.
When he stops, he rips into me. “You forget that I knew Randall too. Probably better than you. And the one thing I have zero doubts about are how he felt about you and how he felt about this daughter. You know he loved you like his son. You may have been closer to his age, but that doesn’t change how he felt. And he would want Emerson with someone that would love her and protect her.”
I’m shaking my head. “Love… I don’t…”
He grunts, and he practically spits out the words. “Don’t even try to lie about it. Yes, you love her. You’ve loved her since she was fifteen and you saved her, Kanan. I think it’s a different kind of love now, and you can deny it all you want, but it’s obvious by the way you look at her. The way you stuck by her side at the funeral. It’s obvious to everyone but you.”
Fuck, all this time I thought I hid it well. And I don’t even know what to make of the fact that she has been checking on me with Walker. But none of that matters. “Walker, listen, I know you want her close, and you want to know she’s okay. We all have guilt about Randall… me more than anyone, but…”
I let my voice trail off, and when Walker starts to talk again, it’s like the anger has left him. I sort of wish it was anger instead of the pitying tone he’s giving me now. “What really happened that day, Kanan? Tell me what happened. You were there, and you’ve hinted about the guilt you feel… let it go. Talk to me.”
I open my mouth and then close it. I can’t talk to him about this. I just can’t. I shake my head, and I know he sees the struggle on my face because he doesn’t ask again.
I point a thumb over my shoulder. “I need to get back to work.”
He nods. “Sure, yeah. But before you go, I need you to know that you’re right. We all have guilt about that day. I sent all of you on that mission… and Randall didn’t come back. That’s something I have to live with every day. But I’m also not going to let it stop me from living. Fuck, Kanan, if anything, I have to make sure I live my life to the fullest. You do too. Randall wouldn’t expect any fuckin’ less.”
I know he’s right. Everything he’s saying is true, and I can tell myself the same thing over and over, but I can’t make myself do it. “You’re right. I know you are.”
At least temporarily satisfied, he nods his head. “Why are you doing the dock? You have employees, you know that, right? You’re supposed to manage them.” He points to my arm that’s covered in my sleeve. “You don’t have anything to prove.”
I shrug. “I needed to do some manual labor today.”
He nods in understanding. “Okay. Get back to work.”
I turn on my heel and make my way to where Emerson is working on replacing the boards on the dock. I’m pissed off and in a bad mood, and seeing her work in clothes that barely cover her body is not helping matters.