Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 88078 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88078 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
“I didn’t know how you felt, Kate,” he said seriously. “You never said a word.”
“What could I have said, Shane?” I asked imploringly. “You didn’t want anything to do with me. Should I have told you how bad I felt when you were already so intent on blaming me for everything?”
“I apologized for that.”
“You may have apologized for being an ass, but that didn’t mean that you were okay with the situation,” I argued.
“What do you want me to say, Kate? Tell me, and I’ll say it. I felt guilty. I hadn’t been with anyone but Rachel in over ten years, and then suddenly I’m fucking you into a hotel mattress. I was a little overwhelmed.”
“Yeah, well, join the club,” I retorted. “I didn’t treat you like shit.”
“If I could go back and change things, I would,” he said, sighing and leaning back into the seat. “I would have handled it better.”
“I don’t think either of us handled things very well.”
“Don’t, Kate.”
“I was too busy reliving all that sexing in my head,” I said with a satisfied hum.
“Can you be serious for a goddamn minute?”
“Who said I wasn’t being serious?”
He scoffed and went silent. A few minutes later, Iris began to fuss.
* * *
“We’re home,” I told my mom, flopping onto the bench in the backyard. The trip back to California had taken three days of stopping every couple of hours for potty breaks, lunch breaks, and just-because breaks. It had been the longest three days of my life. “I’m never making that drive again.”
“How are you feeling?” she asked with a chuckle. “How did the kids do?”
“They hated every second, and by the time we passed Six Flags, I was ready to jump out of the van while it was going eighty down the freeway.”
“And Shane?”
“He was fine. Surprisingly patient. He just left to take the van back to the rental place.”
“Did you two work anything out?”
“There’s nothing to work out.”
“Katherine,” she said in warning.
“We’re getting along, Mom. Okay?” I huffed and rocked Iris’s car seat with my foot as she began to stir. “I’m too tired to worry about anything else at the moment.”
“You two need to—”
“Mom!” I hissed, rubbing the tension from my neck. “Drop it.”
“Fine,” she grumbled. “I think Bram is ready to move to California.”
“He’s being a jackass.”
“He’s just worried about you.”
“Why can’t he be more like Alex?”
“Don’t compare your brothers. That’s not fair to either of them.”
“Crap.” I let my head fall back until my face was raised to the sky. “I know, it’s just frustrating.”
“Yeah, well he and Anita got into it right after you left.”
“What? Why? Keller, stay out of the pool!”
“Who knows with those two? They’re like oil and water. Alex finally threw Ani over his shoulder and carried her out of the house.”
“Why didn’t you stop them?”
“You know we’ve always tried to let you kids argue your own problems out.”
“They’re adults.”
“All the more reason to leave them be,” she murmured.
“Crap, Mom. I gotta go. Gunner just put something in his mouth.” I stood from my seat and tossed my phone to the bench, yelling for Gunner to spit out whatever it was. Just as I reached him, he spit out a clod of dirt and started crying.
“Everything okay?” Shane asked, carrying Sage outside, her skinny legs wrapped around his waist.
“Yeah,” I huffed, picking Gunner up. “Gunner put dirt in his mouth, and now he’s regretting it.”
I walked Gunner back toward the house, but stopped when Shane reached out with his free arm to stop me.
“It’s almost bedtime,” he said softly, wiping a frustrated tear from my cheek. “I’ll do baths, okay?”
“I’m fine. I just need to—” I didn’t want him stepping in. What the hell was I doing there if I wasn’t taking care of the kids?
“I’ll do baths, Katie,” he said firmly, before yelling for the boys.
Iris chose that moment to wake up screaming, and I gave in without another word. I just needed one day to get my legs under me. I’d feel better by the morning.
* * *
“I’m sorry,” I said, cringing as Shane stepped into my room and closed the door behind him late that night. “I don’t know why she’s doing this—she hasn’t done this before.”
Tears were pouring down my cheeks as I paced back and forth. Iris had been screaming for a full twenty minutes by then, but it felt like hours. I had no idea what to do with her. I’d fed her, changed her diaper, and wrapped her tightly just the way she liked it. There was absolutely no reason for her to be so fussy.
“Did you get any sleep?” he asked, his voice so low I nearly missed his words.
“Yeah, about an hour before she had to eat again. She wouldn’t let me put her in her bed so I just kept holding her,” I said on a sob. I was so freaking tired.