Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 88078 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88078 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
“Yeah.” I dug in the bottom of my purse for a few dollar bills and handed them back between the seats. “Don’t lose that.”
“I won’t,” she promised, stuffing the bills into the front pocket of her backpack.
“I’ll be here to pick you up after school,” I told her for what felt like the millionth time, coming to a stop in front of the sidewalk.
When she’d first started back to school after Rachel died, she’d asked me every day if I’d be there to pick her up. Every single day she’d ask, as if to make sure I wouldn’t forget her. Eventually, it just became our morning routine, and before she could even ask, I’d reassure her that I’d be there.
“Okay! Love you!” she called out as she pushed her way past Gavin’s legs and climbed down.
“Love you, too!”
I waited and watched her go inside the double doors even though the car behind me in the drop-off line was inching closer and closer to my bumper in impatience. They could bump the back of my car and I still wasn’t going to move until I saw that Sage was safely inside.
When we got back to the house, I was sweating a little, and the boys’ yelling and Gunner’s dirty diaper weren’t helping the situation any. I loved Kell and Gavin, but at that moment I wished I could just put on some noise-canceling headphones and zone out for two minutes while I got my stomach under control.
“Don’t feel good?” Gavin asked as I changed Gunner’s diaper on the living room floor.
“I’m okay, baby,” I assured him, gagging. “My tummy just hurts a little.”
“Frow up?”
“Maybe, dude.”
“Gross.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Auntie Kate, I’m hungry,” Keller called from where he was hanging upside down off the couch.
“Keller, why are you always upside down?”
“I like being upside down.”
“Well, I don’t talk to upside-down people, so you’re gonna have to get down or I’m not listening,” I replied calmly, pulling Gunner to his feet.
“I want pancakes,” Keller ordered, coming to stand beside me. “With syrup.”
I turned my head slowly and stared at the little boy, who was quickly becoming a demanding little punk. “What was that?” I asked, one eyebrow raised.
“I want pancakes.” His arms crossed over his chest, and his little chin came jutting out in defiance.
“You want to rephrase that, bud?”
“I want pancakes,” he said again stubbornly before lowering his eyebrows. “Now.”
My jaw dropped open, and my skin flushed as I took in the little man. I couldn’t believe what he was doing, though I probably should have. Keller had been getting slowly worse and worse as the weeks went by, no matter how I tried to redirect or correct his behavior.
“In your room for five minutes, Keller,” I said calmly, my heart thundering in my chest as I climbed to my feet. My stomach clenched, and I was on the verge of tears, but I didn’t let my impatience seep into my voice. “You know better than to talk to me like that.”
“I don’t wanna go to my room!” he whined as I hoisted Gunner onto my hip and led Gavin toward the kitchen.
When I didn’t acknowledge Keller’s whine, his voice grew louder until he was screaming.
“I don’t wanna go to my room!” he yelled, his fists clenched by his sides as I strapped Gunner into his high chair and Gavin into his booster at the table.
“You guys want some oatmeal?” I asked the little boys quietly while Keller continued to yell.
“Yes please,” Gavin answered while Gunner signed the word for “eat.”
“Do you want brown sugar or blueberries?” I asked Gavin as I turned toward the fridge.
I didn’t even make it a step before I was being pushed forward with the force of a little body slamming into the back of my legs.
“You’re mean!” Keller cried, hitting at the back of my thighs. “I don’t like you!”
“Keller, stop it!” I yelled over his screams, making Gunner start crying. I was trying to get ahold of his sturdy little arms without turning around, because I couldn’t bear the thought of his fists hitting my nauseous stomach.
“Keller Shane Anderson, what the hell are you doing?” Shane’s voice rang out over the noise of the kitchen.
Keller and I froze as Shane came stomping into the room, and the only thing that could be heard was Gunner’s sniffles.
“Daddy!” Keller cried pitifully, running toward Shane and wrapping his arms around Shane’s thighs.
“What’s going on, bud?” he asked, looking at me in confusion.
“Auntie Kate won’t make me pancakes!”
“This is about pancakes?”
Keller nodded, his face buried against Shane’s side.
“You couldn’t just make him pancakes?” Shane asked in exasperation, putting his hands under Keller’s arms and lifting him onto his hip.
That was all she wrote.
Within a second, I was racing to the bathroom, and I made it just in time to slam the door behind me and vomit nothing but bile into the sink. I started crying, then sobbing as I braced my hand on the counter and rinsed out the sink. I hadn’t even made it to the toilet.