Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 67092 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 335(@200wpm)___ 268(@250wpm)___ 224(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 67092 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 335(@200wpm)___ 268(@250wpm)___ 224(@300wpm)
Of course he would have, since they were supposed to be two heads attached to the same body, Kara realized. Feeling stupid, she tried to salvage the situation.
“Have you noticed what very fine clouds Goocher put in the sky today?” she asked, pointing up towards the pale purple sky where some silvery wisps were drifting by.
“Goocher?” The merchant’s first head frowned.
“Oh, uh, Goochy,” Kara quickly corrected herself. No, that wasn’t right either, she realized when both the merchant’s heads looked at her blankly.
Damn it, what was the name of the Yi’pisselon deity again? Somehow it had flown right out of her head! It would probably be easier to remember if her nipples and pussy weren’t aching so fiercely. She was beginning to be in real pain here!
“Gooshen, is certainly good to us,” Raak said, agreeing with her, even as he shot her a baleful look.
“Right, right—Gooshen,” Kara said quickly. “He is the absolute best weather deity anybody could ask for. I mean, I don’t know about you guys but he’s right at the tip-top of my list. Am I right?”
But her words didn’t seem to have the calming effect she hoped for on the merchant. Both his heads were frowning now.
“Gooshen is not the god of weather!” the first head said, frowning. “He is the god of being and belonging as all devout Yi’pisselons know. Pooper is the god of weather!”
Pooper? Seriously?
But of course she couldn’t comment on the ridiculously named deity without giving herself away.
“Oh, uh, for sure—of course,” Kara said quickly. “Um, praise be to Pooper for the really nice weather today.”
“Praise be,” Raak agreed, nodding. “Now, about those platters. I think I’d like to take all you have available.”
He and the merchant got back to haggling but just as they had agreed on a price and Raak was saying, “Well, I think we’re all in agreement here,” another sharp twinge, almost like an electrical shock shot right through Kara’s throbbing nipples and aching pussy.
And then she felt herself beginning to get wet between her thighs—really wet.
“Ouch! Oh, no,” she moaned, writhing uncomfortably against Raak’s back.
“No?” The merchant, who had been about to hand Raak a stack of carved wooden platters drew back in alarm. “I thought we all agreed?” he asked and his second head murmured in agreement.
“We do,” Raak said, glaring over his shoulder at Kara.
“Yes, um…sure we do,” she agreed weakly. But then another sharp shock ran through her. The feeling of being electrocuted in her most sensitive parts was too much. “I can’t!” she exclaimed wiggling frantically. “I can’t do this!”
The merchant’s frowns deepened.
“See here,” he said, drawing himself up as both heads glared at Kara. “If you’ve got a haunted second head I don’t want nothing to do with you—so I don’t! It’s bad luck to deal with someone that can’t agree with themselves.”
“I’m sure it is,” Raak said. “We’ll just be going now.”
But the merchant had caught the eye of another Yi’pisselon, who was wearing a shiny round badge pinned in the center of his chest.
“Constable! Oh Constable!” he called. “See here—this fellow has a haunted head.” He pointed at Raak and Kara and all the rest of the Yi’pisselons stared in their direction.
“Shit!” Raak muttered under his breath as the constable made his ponderous way towards them.
“A haunted head? What is he talking about?” Kara asked under her breath.
“I think it’s their form of schizophrenia—when the two heads can’t agree with each other,” he shot back. “What’s wrong with you, anyway baby girl?”
“I—” Kara started to explain but just then the Yi’pisselon Constable started shouting at them.
“See here,” his first head was saying loudly, as he came towards them. “We can’t have no haunted heads in this town. It’s against the will of Dingle so it is.”
“Dingle? Who in the Seven Hells is Dingle? Pooper…Dingle…Gooshen…I mean, how many deities do these people have anyway?” Kara exclaimed.
“More than I want to hang around and find out about,” Raak growled. “We need to get out of here—fast.”
The Yi’pisselon Constable began to pull a weapon out of his robes—at least Kara assumed it was a weapon—but Raak didn’t give her a chance to get a really good look.
“Hold on, baby girl,” he told her. “We’re gonna have to make a run for it.”
“Now, you’re coming with me and I don’t want no trouble about it so—” the Constable began.
Raak didn’t wait for him to finish his ponderous statement of arrest. He dodged suddenly around the Constable, knocking into the merchant’s rickety table and spilling a heap of platters and bowls on the dusty ground in the process. Then he ran around one of the slow-moving Bassett-tortoises who was pulling a wooden cart and began to pelt down the road with Kara clinging to his back.
There were cries of, “Stop him!” and “Haunted head!” behind them, but none of the Yi’pisselons were built for speed and Raak was really fast, even with Kara on his back. Before she knew it, they were back to his ship and the pursuing natives had been left in the dust.