Two Sticky Nuts – OHellNo Read Online Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Erotic Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 56107 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 281(@200wpm)___ 224(@250wpm)___ 187(@300wpm)
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I sit on my couch and put my phone on speaker. I tap the app to pull up the recording feature.

“Understand what, Carter? That you secretly filmed me in my own home? That you led me on? That you stole from me, wrecked my car, and lied about your mother being dead, not to mention where you grew up? Everything about you is a lie, Carter.” I’m about to spill the beans and say that even his brother is a lie, but I rein myself in. “You used and manipulated me so you could try to advance your career.”

“Mila, I know it doesn’t make any sense at the moment, but I promise—”

“Did you or did you not lie and pretend you liked me?”

“Yes.”

Gotcha. “And did you secretly film me?” I ask.

“Yes.”

I grin triumphantly. “Is Bob even dead?”

“No. I made that part up so you’d feel sorry for me and let me in your house again.”

What a monster. “That’s all I wanted, Carter. The truth.”

“Can I please come over and explain the reason I lied?”

“If I were you, I’d be getting a great lawyer. Maybe check out some janitorial schools, too, while you’re at it.” Because after I post this, you won’t be making any more films.

I hang up. “Asshole.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

“Wow. You got all that in one evening?” Sofie asks over the phone.

“Yep. Full confession about the filming. Plus Logan was over, begging me not to take legal action until I heard Carter out.”

“So Logan left and called you right away, pretending to be Carter? Wow.”

“Yep. Wow,” I say. “They must really think I’m dumb.”

“Not for long. Send me all the files, and I’ll have my guy get started on pulling the exposé together. I’ll post it tomorrow.”

A guilty niggling feeling starts poking at my gut. “Are you sure we’re doing the right thing?”

“You can still go the legal route if you want, but this is going to be way less expensive.”

“You’re always right, Sofie.”

“Hey, I’m proud of you, girl. You’re grabbing life by the balls.”

“Next on the chopping block is Dick,” I say.

“That’s right,” she says. “First we take down the balls. Then comes dick.”

“Very funny.”

“I have my moments. Oh. By the way, did I tell you I met someone?” she asks.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I got into an accident.”

“What? Why didn’t you say anything?” I bark.

“I’m fine. We weren’t going fast, but I plowed into some guy’s Bentley. Guess who got out of the car?” she asks.

“Let me see. Was it the newest Mega Ball Lotto winner, and he wants to give his winnings to you?”

“Nope,” she says. “Guess again.”

“The man in the Guinness Book who has the world’s longest cock?”

“Even better.”

“I give up? Who?”

“Beau Masters,” she says.

“Beau Masters. The richest man on earth?” I ask.

“Yep. And in case you’re wondering, he’s way hotter in person.”

“Of course he is,” I say drably. “Did he ask you to marry him on the spot?”

“No.”

Finally. Something didn’t turn into a windfall for her.

“But he did ask me out.”

Fuck my life. I meet a guy, and he turns out to be a schizoid swindler. She plows into a Bentley, and it turns out to be the world’s most eligible bachelor, Beau Masters. He’s the kind of hot that comes from being able do whatever the fuck he wants. He’s just that rich. “I hope he’s a complete jackass and farts nonstop.”

Sofie laughs. “Thanks, but I turned him down.”

“What? Why?”

“He’s not my type.”

“Okay. Rich. Powerful. Incredibly smart and industrious. Good-looking. I can see why you’re not into that.”

“He’s just not…real. Yanno? He’s an image, a company, an empire. He’s an institution. I want a man, not a brand.”

I shrug. “Okay, well, feel free to pass him my way, then. Just let him know my dating résumé includes Mr. Sticky Nuts. That should impress him.”

“Any man would be impressed by those nuts.”

I laugh, but Sofie also gets me thinking. “You know? That’s the one thing I still don’t understand. How does this side hustle fit into Carter’s grand plan? I mean, if the cinematic world found out he makes his ding dong into a Ding Dong for money, he’d be laughed at.”

“Didn’t you say he won an award for filming a tomato?” she asks. “Clearly the man doesn’t give two fucks what anyone thinks about him. Or, should I say, he’s willing to put it all out there. Let it all hang out. Balls to the wa—”

“Okay. I got it. But, yeah, I guess you’re right. He’s willing to go pretty far for his craft.” And if he can raise money doing fetish porn, why not? A crazy asshole like Carter probably thinks it’s a tribute to his dedication to the craft.

“Hey, I gotta go, Mila. But I’ll come over tomorrow. We can watch the fallout together online right as I post.”

“Ooh. I’ll make popcorn.”

“I’ll bring some chocolate-covered almonds. We can crunch on them while we watch Carter’s world crumble.”


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