Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 73002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
“You can tell us anything, Matty,” Seth reassured him, reaching out and smacking him on the back.
Laurence scoffed, leaning on his knees. “Yeah, don’t be gay. Just tell us.”
Don’t be gay. It always meant don’t be a sissy or a crybaby to them when they were growing up. That was until Matty realized that he was gay and those terms didn’t remotely describe the person he was. Or better yet, the person he would become. Because the person he was when they were growing up would never surface again. He had grown, he had learned, and damn it, he had loved.
Fully.
And it was time to do that without reservation or worry about someone finding out.
When his eyes started to cloud with tears, he looked down and took a breath. His heart was jackhammering in his chest, his skin didn’t even feel like his own anymore, but he had to do this. Looking up, he alternated his gaze between the two of them as he said, “I’m in a relationship.”
Both of them rolled their eyes. “Fuck, I thought you had cancer or some shit.”
“Right, me too,” Laurence agreed as he leaned back. “A relationship is no big deal, Matty.”
“Yeah. What, is this the first girl you’ve ever loved?”
Matty swallowed hard. “No, he’s actually the second.”
They both paused, and slowly Seth turned to look at him as Laurence just gawked. “What?”
Holding Laurence’s gaze, Matty said, “I’ve been with him for over a year, but we took a break when I wouldn’t come out.”
They both just blinked, their jaws practically to the floor.
Clearing his throat, Matty said, “His name is Wells. Wells Lemiere. He plays for Colorado. Um, he’s great, and I love him—very much.”
The silence was painful as his brothers both stared at him, then each other before looking away. He watched as Seth’s Adam’s apple bobbed before he turned back to Matty. “You’re gay?”
He nodded, and for once, he felt confident as he said, “I am.”
“Do Mom and Dad know?”
“No, not yet. Only you guys and Avery know,” he answered, his heart still not slowing down any in his chest. “And I want to tell them. So please don’t tell them first.”
Laurence held his hands up. “No. What? Really? When did this happen?”
Matty shrugged. “I knew I liked guys when I was in middle school.”
Laurence’s eyes widened. “Whoa, and you never told us?”
“I was embarrassed and angry,” he answered with a grimace. “I didn’t think I could be who I wanted because no one would accept me.” His brothers both looked away, drawing in deep breaths. “I’ve wanted so badly to be loved by Dad and to be noticed that I’ve hidden this part of me, but I can’t anymore. Wells means everything to me, and I can’t lose him.”
Seth’s face was twisted in distress as he shook his head. “We’re your brothers. You should have told us.”
“I couldn’t,” he answered, his heart in his throat. “I had a hard time accepting who I was, but not anymore. I love myself. I love Wells, and I want to come out with the support of my family.”
“Dad won’t be okay with this,” Laurence said.
“I know,” Matty replied as a tear rolled down his face. “That’s why I asked if you two would be there through thick and thin.”
Seth looked back at him, holding his gaze. “You’re my brother. I love you, no matter what or who you love. You didn’t have to live with all that by yourself, though. We would have been there for you.”
Matty’s shoulders fell in relief. “Thank you.”
But when he turned to look at Laurence, he was getting up. “I need a minute. Sorry, I’m a little stunned here. You like dudes,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re a dude, and that’s not okay. It won’t be okay when Dad finds out either. You know that, right? Are you sure this isn’t a phase?”
Matty stood too, his shoulders going back as he held his brother’s gaze. “No. I know who I love.”
Silence stretched between them as Laurence shook his head. “Matty, that’s gross. We are men, we are supposed to be with women. Make babies and shit. That’s how we were raised.”
“I’m not made that way, though. I was created differently,” he tried, but Laurence looked disgusted as Seth stood, holding his hands up.
“Laur, he’s our brother. We support him no matter what.”
“No, I can’t,” he said, turning on his heel. “I’m sorry. And when this comes out, it’s going to be mayhem. I hope you two know that.”
“Laurence!”
“No. Shit, Matty, I wanted you to fix things with Avery, not come out as a fag. Come on. Fuck,” he complained, shaking his head as he went out the front door, slamming it behind him. For some pathetic reason, Matty waited for the door to open up again, for Laurence to pop his head back in and say “Got ya!” But he never did.