Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 73002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
She shrugged. “That’s what Seth said to do. He even told me to bring the bottle with me, but I wouldn’t dare. I don’t want people knowing I drink.”
Matty smiled as she took his hand, leading him to the couch. Patting the back of his hand, she smiled up at him. “Seth wanted to come too, but he’s in some meeting or something, I don’t know. Plus, you’ll see him this weekend when Avery and Ashlyn are here.”
Matty looked away. “I didn’t think I’d be invited.”
She waved him off. “Of course you are. You’re a member of this family, no matter what. It was always your choice not to come to dinner when we’d meet up with Avery.”
“I wasn’t invited then.”
She held up a finger. “That isn’t true. You were, you just chose not to come.”
“I didn’t feel welcome.”
“Because you didn’t allow yourself to be.”
Matty cleared his throat nervously. Maybe she was right, but it was pointless now. “Dad won’t let me in the house.”
“Yes, he will,” she said with more confidence than he had ever seen her display. He wasn’t saying she was weak, but she sure wasn’t vocal when it came to going up against his father. She was the family caregiver, not his partner. At least, that’s how Matty always saw it. “You are our baby, no matter what.”
As he held his mother’s gaze, his eyes started to cloud with tears. “It was awful.” Wrapping her arms around him, she kissed his cheek as he cried into her shoulder. “He said no one would support me or love me. Avery and Seth already said that was shit, but I was so worried you would feel that way.”
She scoffed as she pulled back, cupping his face in her hands. “Oh, my sweet boy, don’t you know that I’ve known you were gay since you were in middle school? So this is no shock to me.”
Matty’s mouth dropped open. “What? How?”
“Oh, honey, a mother just knows. Unlike your brothers, you never seemed interested in girls. But I saw the way you looked at Caleb when he’d come over for Avery. I knew, and it killed me that you wouldn’t admit to it. I figured you’d come out in your own time, but no matter what, I was going to love you. You’re my baby boy.”
Swallowing hard, he looked away as the tears spilled over. “Why can’t everyone be like you? Laurence was a jerk, and so was Dad.”
“Well, they’re the same person. They see homosexuality as a weakness. Avery, Seth, and I don’t see it that way. It’s who you are, and honey, we just want you to be happy.”
“I want that too,” he admitted, looking up at her. “Why can’t I just be happy?”
She smiled. “Because you got stuck with the worst qualities of both your father and me.” She paused, lacing their fingers together as she tapped the back of his hand. “Your father has to be in charge of every aspect of everything that he gets his hands on. He knows how something should be, and that’s final. Then you have my tendency toward overthinking and my habit of caring way too much about what people think.”
He nodded his head ruefully. “That’s all me.”
“Yes, but, Matthew, you also have such passion in you, and such kindness when you allow it to be seen. You have this drive, this ability to beat the odds. And boy, do you fight. You have a powerful confidence when you need it, but there are times when you don’t use it. And that’s not good, honey. You need that. You need to be you. Because you’re good. Yes, you’ve done some not so good things, but you’ve also done some great things. That’s why the people who love you, love you with everything inside of them. That’s why it was so hard for Avery when you were so awful to her. Because she loved you, and you couldn’t accept who you were, so you lashed out against everyone.”
“If you knew, why didn’t you stop me?”
“Because I didn’t know how bad it really was, and I believed you’d figure it out. I had to let you fall because when you did, you learned how to get back up.”
Her words wrapped around him like a warm blanket in a snowstorm. Everything she had said had already been expressed by Wells. Wells constantly told Matty how amazing he was, how he loved both the good and the bad, but Matty couldn’t see that when he was freaking out about his dad. He should have been more self-assured.
“All of you, Seth, Laurence, Avery, and you, are so resilient. I wasn’t the best mom, I tried so hard to be your father’s partner that I forgot I had four kids who needed me. But you four had it. You figured out life all on your own, and now I have four beautiful and successful kids who are self-made. I’m proud of that. But letting your father, someone who was never really there for you, knock you back down… I can’t let that happen. So I came, despite my fear of traveling, to remind you that you have the strength to get back up. That you can do anything you put your mind to.”