Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 73002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Wells could see the tears welling up in Matty’s eyes as he stared at the table. “No, I was the coward, and it pissed me off. It still does. I wanted to be strong, I wanted to be free—like you.” He looked up then, a single tear trickling down his face. When Wells looked to Avery, she, too, was crying. “I wanted to be you, but I couldn’t, and I was so unbelievably jealous of you. Which is not fair, I know, but—”
“Why, Matty? That’s what I don’t understand, and I’ve always wondered. I wasn’t any different from you. We are twins, we seemed to like the same things, we got along great, but still, I’m pretty sure Mom and Dad loved you more.”
“Never,” he said, shaking his head. “Yeah, they were very involved in our hockey lives. But when we were at those things, all they did was talk about how fucking successful you were going to be. How talented and beautiful you were. If it wasn’t you, it was Seth and Laurence, and I just felt like I wasn’t enough to anyone.” When he paused, taking a shaky breath, Wells reached over, rubbing his back. This story, the way Matty felt, rattled him. He couldn’t imagine being so scared that he would hide the way Matty had, or could hurt Wren like Matty had hurt Avery. He would die before he did that, but Matty wasn’t him. He had been lost for a long time, but he would never be lost again.
Not when Wells would be right there beside him.
“Because of all that, I took it out on you. That was wrong. Very fucking wrong.”
“It was,” she agreed, wiping her face. “It was unnecessary. It almost killed me.”
“I know, and I can’t even begin to explain the guilt I have inside of me because of it,” he urged as he looked up at her. “I’ve been in therapy for the last year. And no matter how I spin it, or even try to think of an apology for you, I don’t think one exists anywhere that could even come close to explaining any reason I deserve forgiveness from you.”
Wells’s shoulders fell as Avery looked away, toward the table. “I assume you came here for that? Forgiveness?”
Matty shook his head, though. “No, that’s not it.”
Confused, Wells glanced back at Matty as Avery’s brows drew in and she asked, “Then why did you come?”
“I came because I want so desperately to have you in my life, to be in Ashlyn’s life. I know it’s probably too much for you even to fathom ever forgiving me, but maybe in time, you might be able to.”
Wells’s gaze moved between them, his heart beating so fast and hard he almost couldn’t hear anything they were saying. He wasn’t even sure he should be there, but he wouldn’t leave Matty’s side. He’d promised he wouldn’t. But he did wish that Jace were here for Avery. Wells could tell this was hard for her.
Silence stretched between them until Avery looked up, wiping the tears from her cheeks, her makeup smearing a bit. “You’ve gone to therapy?”
“I have.”
“I never thought I’d hear you say that.”
“I had to. It got to be too much, especially with all the pictures of you and Ashlyn on Instagram. I wasn’t invited to any family events where you were, and the guilt ate and ate away at me because I knew it was my fault. I wanted to do whatever I could to make it better, so Wells suggested therapy.”
Wells could feel Avery glance at him, but he was too busy taking in Matty’s furrowed brow and pursed lips. He looked so vulnerable, but so fucking beautiful too.
“You did?”
Directing his gaze to Avery, he shrugged as he met the same eyes Matty had. “My sister is a therapist, and she preaches that everyone needs therapy.”
Avery laughed. “I still go.”
Matty went taut beside Wells as he whispered, “Because of me.”
But she shook her head. “Only part of what you did drove me to it. It just scraped the surface of what was inside of me. Something that would have gotten to me sooner or later. But that’s in the past. I’m doing great now.”
“That’s all I want.”
“I want that for you,” she urged. “Are you going to tell Mom and Dad? The boys?”
“In due time, which I’m sure will provide awesome ammo for you to get back at me. To tell them first.”
She shook her head, her eyes defiant. “I would never do that.”
He nodded ruefully. “Because you’re a good person.”
“So are you,” she answered, holding Matty’s gaze, and Wells’s heart sang as she reached out, taking Matty’s hand in hers. “When you want to be. Remember, we used to be the bestest of friends before middle school and before Caleb moved in to our neighborhood.”