Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 70445 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 352(@200wpm)___ 282(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70445 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 352(@200wpm)___ 282(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
I glance at War and nod. “All right, we’ll talk to him.”
“Good luck with that. Seriously, Melody, good luck. I don’t know if you’ll ever get the closure you deserve, but I hope you’re doing better now. Can I tell you one more thing?”
“Sure, go ahead.” I feel exhausted like a weight’s holding my shoulders down. Kerry starts heading out again and I stay behind with War.
“You should get the hell out of here and forget this place exists,” Kerry says without looking back. “I sure as heck wish I could.”
And then she’s gone, heading toward the woods with Lily, walking at a slow clip. I watch her for a little while without speaking, with War standing close by my side. Eventually, he breaks the silence.
“That went well,” he says.
“It did?” I look at him and tilt my head. “I only cried once so I guess that’s a win.”
“I mean we got a lead. Uncle Lovett. And you got an apology.”
“For all the good it’ll do me.”
He puts a hand out to stop me from walking past him. “Seriously, Melody. I know you’re holding onto something awful, and I’m not going to make you tell me what it is, but accept the gift Kerry just gave you.”
“And what gift is that?” I stare into his face, wondering if he could possibly understand the way I’m feeling right now.
“She gave you the right to disappear. She acknowledged that what happened to you was fucked up. At least one person that was around when it all went down understands how badly they hurt you. That’s got to mean something.”
And it does. He’s right, it does. Kerry’s apology knocked a feeling loose in me, an emotion I haven’t felt in a long time.
For years, I’ve felt only a mix of anger and fear and pride and a driving need to be believed, to be taken seriously, and above all, to be loved.
As we approach the barn, I slow and let myself take a few deep breaths. This air, I grew up in this air. I grew up on this land.
And that feeling in my body is peace, calm, and ease. I haven’t felt any of that for so long because I’ve been holding on to the hell I went through, but maybe Kerry’s apology will help me release all that ugly negativity, and maybe I can move on.
“I want to talk to Uncle Lovett,” I say and look at War. “And I want you there to back me up.”
“Gladly,” he says.
“You don’t owe this to me. Uncle Lovett’s going to be pissed, and I can’t promise things won’t get ugly. You don’t have to dig yourself any deeper.”
He reaches out suddenly and takes my hand. I startle and stare at him but he doesn’t let me go. “I don’t have to do anything, lovely Melody,” he says softly and tugs me up against him. I stare up into his eyes, too surprised to stop this. “But I want to.”
And he kisses me. I linger in that kiss as a wave of emotion hits me. The apology, the fear, and now this excitement. It’s almost too much and I’m afraid that if I let it, I’ll drown in overstimulation.
His lips pull back and I’m breathing hard. “You could’ve just said yes,” I whisper.
“Saying yes is one thing, but showing you is another. Besides, I like kissing you, and I like that you let me.”
I smile despite myself and he kisses me one more time.
Chapter 19
Melody
I spend the afternoon at the top of the tower kissing War, letting him explore my body, letting him strip off my clothes and lick and suck and dig his fingers into my skin. I let him spank and pull and moan and bite, and I let everything pour out into him, all of my frustration and my anger. I let it build and build and release as I come shivering and sweating in his lap.
“We should sleep here tonight,” he whispers in my ear. “I’ll bring up a mattress and our things.”
“Okay,” I say, thinking maybe this is too much, maybe I’m going too far, but I want it. I want to sleep at the top of the tower with him under the stars and feel his body against mine in the darkness. He’s safety and pleasure in a place that’s devoid of all that, and I want to cling to him and hold on tightly.
But we have a job to do. Once we’re cleaned up, we dress and head back to the main house. I hold War’s hand on the way inside, feeling silly, but taking strength from it, and he doesn’t say a word, only squeezes my palm. It takes a few minutes of wandering and running into a few of the aunts and cousins, but eventually we spot Uncle Lovett out in the garage working on an old pickup alone, playing the radio loud, a cold beer sweating on the work bench beside him.