Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 80689 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80689 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
“I’m not ready for that, Jonas. Yet.” That yet gives me hope that there will come a time when he is, but I won’t push him to do anything he’s uncomfortable with, just like he hasn’t pushed me.
“In that case, I’ll do my usual walk of shame back to my room,” I say before taking one more kiss. As I pull away, his lips clamp back down against mine and he rolls onto me, as though, despite claiming he doesn’t want me to stay, his body feels differently.
He grabs my wrists and pushes them against the mattress firmly as his tongue invades my mouth. When he pulls away, he gazes down at me, growling softly. “Okay, you’d better go before I change my mind.”
I head to my room, riding that now familiar high from messing around with him, making this fucked-up mess with Simon worth it.
I came to Hawthorne Heights considering myself straight, but all these nights with Ryan make it a struggle to remember a time when I didn’t want my dick buried in an ass.
The following morning, while I’m eating breakfast—cinnamon-raisin oatmeal and pancakes—Ryan’s late. I’m curious why he’s running behind, which is unlike him, when Simon walks in, dressed in a polo and jeans that look much nicer than anything I’ve seen Ryan in. Like he’s flaunting the cash he inherited.
I try to keep my cool, but I assume the worst: He knows Ryan and I are faking. He knows this whole thing is a lie, and he’s going to make me leave and get Charity kicked out of the treatment program he only just got her into.
“Morning, Jonas.” He takes a seat at the end of the table, where Ryan usually sits.
“Good morning.”
“Ryan will be a little late for breakfast. There was an emergency leak in the east wing that he’s trying to fix, and I thought it’s a good opportunity to catch up with you about your progress.”
“It’s going—”
“Well. Yes, I know.”
He doesn’t let up his eye contact, and my cheeks are getting warm.
It’s been getting easier to forget that Simon’s watching us in our intimate moments. Despite claiming he’d get someone to review the footage, I know better, and the way he’s looking at me, studying my expression, it’s like he’s reviewing all the material he’s watched.
“What I wanted to check in on is how Ryan’s feeling about you. Would you say he’s just warming up to you, or maybe something more?”
I don’t want to answer. Not even sure I can, but he’s technically my boss, so I should figure something out.
“Warming up to me, I’d say.”
“Nothing more?”
“I was with him last night and asked if I could stay, but he told me no, so it must still be just messing around in his mind.” I figure it’s safest to stick with something he must already know, but speaking it out loud stings. Because I enjoy spending time with Ryan, and I wish he’d asked me to stay.
Simon nods. “That makes sense. But how does it feel, when the two of you are together?”
My thoughts flash to the heat…the pulsing desire as I’m fucking him. His hot breath, how he moans out my name.
I wonder if Simon’s piercing gaze has picked up on any of that—since he’s surely watched us fucking like wolves plenty of times—and when he says, “Does it feel like he’s drawn to you? Other than physically, I mean?” I realize I’d forgotten his question.
“It seems that way to me.”
“What does that feel like? To have him want you like that?”
As if his questions weren’t already weird enough. How am I supposed to answer that? Honestly, Simon, it feels fucking great. But is that what he wants to hear? I’m supposed to be working a job, not enjoying myself.
“It feels nice knowing it’s getting us closer to our objective.”
“And are you finding yourself drawn to him?”
He’s not even looking me in the eyes. He studies my expression, inspecting my face for something—tells? Some clue as to what I’m thinking?
“He seems like a friendly, thoughtful guy.”
Simon’s jaw tightens like Ryan’s sometimes does when his cum is about to explode out of his cock. It’s a thought that emphasizes how strange it is to look at the face of the man I’ve been messing around with, and yet not to be looking at that man at all. Striking as the physical similarities may be, their personalities are so different that those similarities seem superficial. Strange that, while I know with every part of me that I find Ryan attractive, I don’t feel the same about Simon. Not even slightly. There’s no spark here. The only emotions, really, are rage at how he’s fucking with Ryan and resentment that he holds the fate of my sister in his hands.
“He seems friendly and thoughtful,” Simon says. “Yes, I agree.”