Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 109176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 546(@200wpm)___ 437(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 546(@200wpm)___ 437(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
I’m not sure what I thought I’d find, but when I see the paper in front of me, I wish I hadn’t snooped. DNA paternity papers. The words blur as tears fill my eyes. I didn’t even know this was a question. My mother made it sound like it was a done deal that Robert was my father, but Robert must not have been a hundred percent certain.
Chatter outside the door breaks the silence, and I drop the letter. The letter shouldn’t affect me as much as it does. Why does it anyway? It just confirms what I already know: he’s my father.
But I never doubted my mom. Only he did. But that’s not why I’ve been upset all this time. I’ve been upset because I thought he knew about me and never presented himself in my life.
Wait.
I grab the paper I discarded and look at the top right corner. One week after I was living with him already. He got the test when I was already in his house.
Why would he let me come live with him if he didn’t know for sure that I was his daughter? And does this mean he was as blindsided by the turn of events as I was? My chest feels like it’s caving in as I struggle to breathe. It’s almost as if a hand squeezes my throat, each inhale more painful than the one before. Why does it have to be so complicated?
Talk to him.
The only answer is to ask the painful questions I don’t want to ask, but if I don’t, I’ll never know. Could there be a chance that maybe I can have a family? I have my mom, but her lies have eaten away at me, leaving me utterly alone. Not true; you have him. Dane. My grumpy, forbidden lover. It’s only temporary, though; he can only chase the pain away for so long.
The door flings open. Letter still in hand, I turn to face whoever has caught me in the act. There he is, in the flesh, the man I had only just been thinking about. The sound of the door closing echoes in the office. Then he steps farther into the room, crossing the small space that separates us.
“What are you doing in here?” I clutch the paper closer to my chest. His gaze flicks down to my hands as he slowly approaches me. “I followed you.” There’s a brief silence. “And before you give me shit about it, this is what we do. We follow each other.”
He’s right. We’re really bad at boundaries when it comes to one another.
“Shouldn’t you be in practice?”
“Yes,” he says as his strides eat up the remaining distance between us until he’s only a breath away. He should leave. I should tell him to leave. I don’t, though.
For a moment, we don’t talk, but then his hand reaches out and removes the paper from my hand. I close my eyes, tears forming behind my lids. I know he’s reading it, and I feel naked before him and can’t bear to see what the look in his eyes will be. The rough pads of his fingers lift my jaw. “Please look at me.”
I shake my head.
“Hellfire.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Unshed tears feel heavy behind my lids.
“And that’s okay. We don’t have to.”
I take a deep breath and open my eyes. A lone tear runs down my cheek as I watch Dane place the paper back on the desk. “Come here.”
“No.”
“Please.”
I scrunch my nose and shake my head again. He lifts his brow, but then he doesn’t wait for me to move. Instead, he steps up and wraps his arms around me. It feels good to be encased in his arms. The comfort he gives feels real; it makes us feel real.
I shouldn’t allow myself to think these thoughts, but as I exhale the pent-up emotion inside me, I fall into him. A wrecked sob escapes my mouth, and fresh tears fall, and he never lets me go. He holds me as my world crashes to the ground, and everything I thought was real disappears into a fog that has now lifted.
When my sobs stop, he pulls back and looks down at me. We stare at each other for a moment, and nothing matters at that moment but him holding me.
48
JOSIE
It’s been a long and draining week since I found the DNA test. When I said yes to coming over today, I felt fine. Now, standing at his front door, I feel like I’m dying.
I’m exhausted and to make matters worse, it’s that time of the month.
We’re supposed to be fun and casual, and now I’m rolling up feeling like shit. My stomach is cramping, and I’m miserable. It feels like I’m coming down with a cold or flu.
I should cancel.