Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 109176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 546(@200wpm)___ 437(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 546(@200wpm)___ 437(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
He looks like the cat that ate the canary. “You got it.”
I offer my best smile, winking for good measure. “Great. See you later.”
I’m playing with fire, but it can’t be helped. The need to get a reaction from Dane, any reaction is so strong it’s damn near crippling.
If Dane can’t get his head out of his ass, it’s his problem. Not mine.
The days of locking myself in the guesthouse are over. If I’m going to make this situation work, I’m going to get a life.
Screw Dane and what he thinks.
I’m looking out for me from now on.
19
JOSIE
A host of errands for the team has kept me busy the past few days. My tasks seemed more grueling today, so I’m happy work is over. I’m exhausted and ready to fall into bed.
It’s hard to concentrate as I drive back to my father and Sherry’s house. I keep having to shake my head to wake up.
Probably isn’t safe for me to drive, but I have no option as long as I live and work with the team.
You could always ride to work with your father.
The man has offered this to me every chance he’s gotten, which isn’t often since I’m basically avoiding him like the plague.
A huge part of me knows I’m being a baby over this whole thing. I should just sit down with him and ask him all the damn questions I have, but the small voice inside of me that says, “You won’t like his answer,” is too scared to broach the topic. My time here is too long to risk it. What will I do if he tells me that he knew about me and chose not to meet me until I was fully grown?
That’s the thing that terrifies me the most. It’s very easy to acknowledge a daughter once she’s no longer a child and thus not a burden.
I barely survived knowing I was a burden to my mom; how would I survive knowing he thought I would be a burden too?
The low volume of the music in my car is so loud as I drive that I realize when I roll to a stop at the light that I missed a text.
Looking around, I figure I have a few more seconds before the light turns, so I decide to check who texted.
It’s my father. Speak of the devil.
Sperm Donor: If you’re free for dinner, we’d love to have you. Dane is coming.
Of course he is. Why am I even surprised? Sperm donor’s golden boy.
I’m torn.
The stubborn part of me doesn’t want to go.
But the part of me that stays up at night thinking of him doesn’t want to pass up the opportunity to see him.
Tired or not, I could rally for that.
I wish I had someone to talk to. Anyone.
But I don’t.
All my friends have gone their own way, and my mom . . . well, we don’t have that type of relationship. Never have.
Sure, I love her, and she’s been the only parent I’ve ever had, but she’s strict.
The only time we ever talked about boys went something like, me joking that it was time we talked about the birds and the bees and her reluctantly agreeing. When I was in middle school, I thought it was time. Her response was to keep my damn legs shut.
Good talk.
Yeah, needless to say, that was the last time I ever brought up anything having to do with sex.
I think it should be obvious that I was traumatized by that one statement.
Now, older, I’ve never been able to confide in her, and it’s sad.
I guess her answer makes more sense now that I think about it.
She probably regrets getting pregnant with me, seeing as my father was never around, and that’s the only thing she’s ever said about sex. I have to assume she wishes she had made that choice for herself.
And with that thought, my mood plummets, and all those nasty insecurities bubble to the surface.
Before I know it, I’m pulling up to the house. I still haven’t made a decision on whether I’m going to dinner or not.
Is this a regular thing?
Dane at dinner?
I did notice they were really close the last time he was here. That, coupled with the dad comment, makes me think they are, but they barely speak at practice. Then there’s the whole part about him being made my keeper.
But I guess it makes sense that they don’t talk in public. There can be no favorites on a team. He needs to ensure he comes across as impartial.
As I sit here in the driveway, my heart hammers heavily in my chest. Like a shot of adrenaline, I’m no longer tired. Energy courses through my body.
Normally, when I come here, I go straight to the backyard and head to the guesthouse, but today, I’ll enter from the main door.