Total pages in book: 34
Estimated words: 30353 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 152(@200wpm)___ 121(@250wpm)___ 101(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 30353 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 152(@200wpm)___ 121(@250wpm)___ 101(@300wpm)
“Don’t be,” Felix insisted with a pat to my knee. “It was a good guess, especially with the way we’ve been acting. It’s pretty obvious that we’re Daddies, isn’t it?”
For some silly reason, hearing him speak the word out loud made me blush even harder. “A little. I mean, I think so; I’ve never met one in person.”
Enzo made a growly-rumbly noise that made me whip my head to face him. “You mean you’ve never had a Daddy? Never even played with one?” I shook my head no, and I wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing when Enzo hummed while closing his eyes.
“So, how did you find out that you like pacifiers?” Felix asked, capturing my attention. My heart went crazy and my breathing sped up, and Felix was quick to soothe me by rubbing his palm over my leg. “It’s okay, sweet baby; you’re safe with us.”
His words didn’t calm me down; they brought my memory back to my vivid dreams from the night before. I swallowed hard although my throat was suddenly dry. I shut my eyes and tried to take deep breaths. Felix stroked my leg in a slow, repetitive pattern, and Enzo took my hand and placed it on the blanket, helping me pet the soft, fluffy fabric. Within moments, I was calm and grounded.
Able to think more clearly, I replied, “Well…I guess I get nervous easily. I tend to overthink or worry. It probably has a lot to do with what I’ve been through-”
“What have you been through?” Enzo cut in.
Felix was quick to rub my leg again and added, “We want to hear everything about you, but only when you’re ready; we don’t mean to push.”
The pair were perfect complements to one another; while Enzo seemed more blunt and spirited, Felix was more level-headed. But the strange thing was, I didn’t prefer one man or personality over the other. I liked them both, together. They were like two pieces of a perfect puzzle.
And while I didn’t tell my story to a lot of people, I wanted to tell them. They made me feel comfortable and cared for; two of the things I craved most in this world.
“My parents were incredible people,” I began, and received a smile from both of them. “They took the best care of me and always made me feel loved and protected. But I lost them both to an accident when I was six.”
“I’m so sorry,” Felix offered, while Enzo wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
“So, I went to live with my grandma. She was a great lady too, but she was older and ailing. A couple of years later, she passed away as well.” Enzo’s arm tightened around me and Felix squeezed my leg. “After that, I fell into the foster system. Some of the families I stayed with were nice, and some weren’t so nice, but none of them were permanent.”
“I got nervous about when I would leave and where I would go next. I worried about whether the foster families would like me. I had trouble fitting in at school because I moved around so much, and I never made any close friends.”
“That had to be so hard,” Felix surmised, his voice thick with sadness.
“What about your roommates?” Enzo piped up. “Are you close to them at all?”
I shook my head no. “We were actually put together by the foster system when we turned of age. They helped set us up with low-income housing. Once a month, someone from the housing project comes by to inspect the place and make sure it’s being taken care of.” The brothers nodded, seeming to understand the work we put into the house earlier.
“But I’m not close to the guys who live with me. They pretty much ignore me and do their own thing.” And by that, I meant throwing wild parties and trashing the house. They never went to work, but they made rent. I assumed they were involved in some illegal activities, but I never asked. The less I knew or was involved in, the better.
“They’re not mean to me, but I’m afraid they might be if they knew my interests; maybe even if they knew I was gay.”
“So…you hide everything about yourself?” Enzo asked sadly, and I nodded.
“It’s not that difficult,” I shrugged. “They don’t ask about my life and I don’t tell them. Besides, I’m used to not talking to anyone. I was never close enough to anyone to open up.”
“Well, we are honored that you are opening up to us,” Felix insisted as his brother agreed. “So does anyone know you’re gay?”
“My ‘coming out’ wasn’t so much of an outward process as it was an inward reflection,” I explained. “I began noticing that I was attracted to boys instead of girls, and it got stronger the older I got. I heard things at school and saw things on TV, and managed to piece together what it all meant. It was a huge relief once I figured out who I was.”