Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 85838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 429(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 429(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
“Thanks for joining me in the nick of time,” he deadpans.
“I was ambushed by my mom,” I whisper.
His eyes pop. “Oh! This sounds like a good intermission story.”
The lights dim, and Sebastian Lowe strides onto the stage a minute later. Bryan snaps his gaze to the movie star entering from the wings. I do the same. The play is captivating, but my attention is elsewhere. It’s on my mom’s words. Her out-of-nowhere advice. The video of Zane coaching his niece. Then my own regrets. I should have handled the end with him better. Maybe I need to tell him that. Maybe then I’ll stop beating myself up over my mistakes.
As the first act nears its end, Bryan’s still transfixed by the actor. I need to get to the bottom of his fascination with the recently out Oscar winner.
When intermission comes, we stretch our legs, and I bat first. “What’s up with you and the star?” I tip my forehead to the stage.
With a scoff, he points at me. “You first. I want the mom story. Is she trying to convince you to join her firm?”
“Always. I work for the devil, of course,” I say, but I’m not in the mood to joke. After putting on an act at work, it’s such a relief not to have to hide my feelings. Bryan knows the whole story. Knows what went down in New York too.
I lower my voice. “She basically figured out in two seconds about Zane and me,” I say, a sad smile taking over my face.
My friend returns my smile with a sympathetic one of his own. “Your mom’s hard on you, but she’s a lot like you in other ways. Works hard. Reads people like that. Cares deeply. Not always about the same things as you, but she’s passionate.”
“She mentioned that. Passion. She wanted to know if I was putting my passion in the right place,” I say, sketching air quotes as that word echoes in my mind. Passion. It’s stirring up new questions for me.
“Are you?” he asks simply.
“I am,” I say, emphatically. “That’s what stung so much about what went down in New York. I don’t want to disappoint clients or potential clients. I want to be excellent. I want to help people achieve their dreams. I truly enjoy that, Bryan.” Perhaps I sound like I’m on the cusp of a speech, but I feel that way.
“I know you do, buddy. So what’s eating at you?”
I imagine the All-Star Game in a few more days and the agency dinner the night before. I picture seeing Zane at the restaurant in Venice, acting tough like he did that morning on the phone in Manhattan when I broke things off. He’d said he was going clubbing with his friends the next night. But back in Miami, he’d said no to going out with Gunnar just so he could talk to me on the phone.
He was protecting himself that day when I cut him off. Because I hurt him so much. Perhaps I can fix that one mistake. Resolute, I answer Bryan with, “I need to try to apologize to Zane when he’s in town for the All-Star Game and the agency dinner we’re hosting before it in a few days.”
Bryan arches a doubtful brow. “You’re going to say you’re sorry? Are you sure that’s all you want?”
And just like that, everything’s clear. I know an apology isn’t enough as the real answer to Bryan’s question arrives in an instant.
No, that’s not all I want.
Not one bit.
I want everything with Zane.
I don’t know if I stand a chance at getting it. I don’t know if I’ll even be able to snag a moment alone with Zane.
But I have to try.
Because the answer to what I want lies in the hollow space in my heart. Only Zane can fill it. “No. That’s not all I want. Not even close.”
Bryan cocks his head. “What are you going to do about it?”
That’s the great unknown. “I’m going to start working on it right now,” I say, feeling the first, brilliant spark of possibility.
My friend smiles, then goads me. “Are you? Because the Maddox I know goes after what he wants.”
“That’s what I’m going to do,” I say, feeling certain at last.
Now, I just need to figure out the how.
27
ALL OF THE ABOVE
Zane
Let’s see.
I could take a scalding-hot shower in my big-ass hotel suite in Los Angeles, order food delivery, listen to this new podcast from one of my favorite comedians, and then conk out in this king-size bed.
Or I could go to the agency soirée at a trendy new restaurant on Venice Beach. A restaurant that Maddox probably chose. One where I’ll have to see him again. The one I RSVP’d to.
My heart pounds uncomfortably.
That’s the decision right there. Seeing Maddox will hurt too much.