Total pages in book: 48
Estimated words: 43284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 216(@200wpm)___ 173(@250wpm)___ 144(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 43284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 216(@200wpm)___ 173(@250wpm)___ 144(@300wpm)
“No-no-no.” I pulled her off but she was in turbo mode and kept going. I actually wanted to hit my kid, what the fuck is that? I knew she would react this way none of this was her fault, it was no one’s fault but mine.
I had to pull them apart as Bri tried getting back into her clothes. “Stop it Crystal I know you’re upset but I won’t let you hurt her.” I was fucking dying inside, the look on Brianna’s face, what the fuck had I brought us to? Anything would’ve been better than this.
Brianna kept her head down the whole time she was getting dressed while I stood between her and my daughter who was screaming obscenities and totally disregarding my orders for her to leave the room. I felt like the lowest form of life when Brianna got her bag and headed out the room.
“Leave you bitch and don’t come back.” She moved towards the door and made a move to go after her. Not like this, fuck me not like this. Dammit she didn’t deserve this. What kind of man am I that I let this happen to her?
“Crystal shut up, Brianna, baby…”
“Go after her I know you want to.” So much fucking hurt in that one little sentence.
Fuuuuccckkkkk. I stood there with my heart in tatters. No matter what move I made someone was gonna get hurt. I heard the door close behind her downstairs and closed my eyes in agony. How much damage had I just done to her heart? I turned to my daughter who was also hurt, who was expecting her dad to turn away from her for someone else, how could I get her to understand?
“Come here baby.” She fell into me with a sob that tore at my heart. Please help me to do this right, I can’t lose either of them, I won’t. I was afraid to ask myself which one I was more willing to sacrifice, because I think I already knew. And it made me feel like ten times a bastard.
I hugged her close and smelt her hair the way I did when she was little. Little and innocent of these things. “I love you, the love I have for you no one can take. But…”
“I knew it, you want to go after her, you love her more than me. I hate you you’re just like mom, neither of you wanted me I wish I was dead.” She pulled away and ran to her room and slammed and locked the door.
I went out to the drink cabinet and poured myself a stiff one. I pulled my phone and sent off a quick text, hoping it would be enough until I could do more. I took my drink and sat in the dark with my head hurting and my heart under my feet. I had totally fucked this one up.
***
For the next three days she didn’t leave my side. It was as if she were afraid to let me out of her sight. I hadn’t gone to the job and she hadn’t gone to school. I’d tried calling Bri but the third time it went to voice mail I figured it was just as well I get this shit settled before going after her anyway. The little tracking device in her bracelet was still within city limits and the one on her car showed that she went to school and home.
I missed her like fuck though, and as soon as I was through taking care of my daughter and making this shit right I was gonna go get my woman and nothing was gonna stop me. I had her ring already, had bought it the week after I got the jeep. I’d been waiting to give it to her, didn’t want to do it in secret like everything else.
Now she was out there alone, unprotected without me. What was she thinking? And the vision I had that last day…I couldn’t think about that now or I’d really lose my mind. Crystal refused to even talk about her. It was as though she thought if we didn’t talk about it it would just go away.
Three days was too much though, I wasn’t going to do it to her another second. She needed me, I needed her, it was that simple. Why didn’t I see it before, why did I let fear stand in my way?
It didn’t matter what I did, somebody was going to feel like they were losing. I’ll just have to be man enough to show them both that they were wrong. “We have to talk about this Crystal.”
We were in the kitchen having breakfast, well I was having coffee she was having cereal. Like I said, she hadn’t let me out of her site in the last three days, only to sleep and she’d taken to coming into my room at night to check on me.