Total pages in book: 30
Estimated words: 27599 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 138(@200wpm)___ 110(@250wpm)___ 92(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 27599 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 138(@200wpm)___ 110(@250wpm)___ 92(@300wpm)
The audience cheered, making my cheeks turn a light shade of pink. I glanced toward the side where Jonah, Blaze, and John were standing in support of me.
It was because of them that I’d gotten a publishing contract for this book, and it was because of them that I was so successful.
I’d written my honest truth. My raw, unfiltered truth.
And it had helped heal me.
“I wouldn’t say I’ve overcome it all,” I told her. “Some days are definitely still a struggle, but I get through them. I know there’s light on the other side.” I shrugged. “I just have to keep pushing.”
“And your son—Jonah? You named him after his father?”
I smiled warmly, looking out at the audience where Jonah—or as we’d started calling him, Little Jonah—was sitting on Madeline’s lap. Blake was sitting beside them, their three other kids—Jaime, Logan, and Kelly—sitting in the same row next to Blake. They’d shown up in support of me, and despite our adoption contract, they’d allowed Little Jonah to know me as Mom, and Blaze and Jonah as Dad. Madeline and Blake were Auntie Maddy and Uncle Blake.
And the arrangement worked for us. It was probably the weirdest any adoption agency had ever seen, but my little boy was safe and loved, and he wasn’t ever subjected to my trauma.
My days could still get ugly and dark. We were still trying me on different medications, but either they turned me into a zombie, or they gave me horrible side effects that weren’t worth me taking the medication. Some patients found a great medication that immediately worked. Then, there were patients like me that took time.
“Little Jonah was named after both of my husbands—Jonah and Blaze,” I corrected her.
She smiled at me, no judgement in her eyes. Not everyone was as open about my marriage, so I appreciated her acceptance. “Two husbands—we’ll touch on that in a minute.” I laughed. “Do you ever regret giving your son up for adoption?”
I shook my head. “I know every single day I made the right choice, even if it hurts. Madeline and Blake are the best parents for him in the world. My trauma—I know I’m going to live with the effects of that for the rest of my life. And I don’t want one of my bad days to affect him because I still lash out. Those days are still extremely ugly.” I sat up a little straighter in my seat, looking out at my son again. “The generational trauma ends with me.”
Cheers rang out in the crowd again, the applause almost deafening. Tears pricked at my eyes. Grace grabbed my hand and smiled at me. “You’re so brave,” she told me once the crowd had died down some. “It takes real strength to make that kind of decision, Montana.”
I nodded. “I want other mothers to know that choosing to give your child something better with a healthier family is not wrong. It’s not evil. And it’s not selfish.”
Cheers rang out again. I waited for them to die down before I spoke up again. “I cried after I made the decision to let another family adopt him. And I cried the day I had him. A piece of me broke that will never heal, but I’ve learned how to live with that broken part of me.”
“And your husbands—they help?”
I smiled at my two men. Jonah smiled back at me, but Blaze just continued to stare at me, his face unchanging. But I knew he was beyond proud of me. “My men are incredible,” I told Gracie, looking back at her. “They’re supportive. And when I have bad days and lash out, they know how to handle me. Nothing I ever say affects them. They just love me for me.”
“And your brother?” she asked, eyeing him. I laughed. John—my single, eligible older brother—had been getting quite a lot of attention since my book was published. “You mentioned him a lot in your book.”
“He’s my rock,” I said simply. “No matter what happens, I know he’s the one I can always turn to. We broke together. Now, we’re healing together. I’d never ask for a different or better person to go through life with me.”
She glanced toward my brother again. “Any chance we can get him on this stage?”
I laughed. “Not a chance. He hates being in the spotlight.” I smiled at him, and he rolled his eyes, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. I looked back at Gracie. “My family—that includes Blake, Madeline, and their kids—we’re a weird one. But we’re a family. And I love them to pieces. I know they’d do anything in the world for me, just as I would for them.”
She ended the show shortly after that, and I signed some books before going over to Madeline to hold Little Jonah. He yawned and rested his head on my shoulder. I felt Blaze step up against my back, and Jonah moved up next to me, pressing his lips to the top of Little Jonah’s head.