Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 111089 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 555(@200wpm)___ 444(@250wpm)___ 370(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111089 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 555(@200wpm)___ 444(@250wpm)___ 370(@300wpm)
We stood in front of his desk, side by side, in silence.
“Considering you overheard my chat with Simon Hawthorn, I guess maybe right in front of the classroom isn’t the best place to have this chat.”
“Eh, it’ll be fine. I had to put my ear against the door, and even then, wasn’t that easy.”
“Oh…”
“I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop,” I blurted out, maybe a little too defensively. “I was trying to see if you guys would be finishing up soon.”
“I wasn’t accusing—”
“I didn’t say you were.” I motioned to the other side of the classroom. “We can talk over by the window if it makes you feel better.” God, I wanted us to skip this part. “Mr. Warner—”
“Now you keep calling me Mr. Warner?”
“Sorry. Didn’t even realize I was doing that.”
“Yeah. I guess I haven’t been realizing some things either.”
That was a fucking understatement if I’d ever heard one.
18
James
What was I supposed to say after what we’d done the day before?
Until I felt Kyle breathing into me, tasted his wet mouth, I hadn’t realized how numb I’d been. Leaving Sheila had been like washing up onto the shore, but Kyle had found me and pumped oxygen back into my lungs, giving me a jolt to help me take that first real gasp of air.
I could fucking feel my body again for what felt like the first time, in a way that left me wondering what kind of zombie I’d been before him.
It was enough to make me question ethics, morals…my very soul.
He’d snuck up on me.
Something was changing between us, and even before that kiss, I couldn’t understand it. But when I saw that almost predatory expression before he came at me, I understood what I’d been feeling. And I knew it threatened to take so much from me.
As we stood in my classroom, the weight of our actions upon us, Kyle didn’t rush me. He stood not far, but still too far, the soft sunlight from the window blinds glowing against him, and his distracted gaze assured me he was thinking about this as hard as I was. Where did we even begin when we were both, surely, trying to sort through what we could do about what we’d shared?
A moment that, regardless of what happened from that point forward, I refused to give up. I refused to feel ashamed of, not when it was the only sensation that made all the horrors of life feel like they’d been worth it.
“You weren’t supposed to kiss me back,” he finally said, his voice a low rumble.
“What?”
His jaw tensed as he shook his head. “I was trying to show you how I felt. I couldn’t say it out loud, and I assumed you’d push me away and tell me you didn’t feel the same, that there was no way in the world you could even imagine yourself with a man, or just me, and then I could have some peace, tell myself there was no point, and move the fuck on.”
“That’s a very strange plan.”
“All those books you got your head into, and you’ve never read one where someone did a stupid thing because they had the hots for another person?”
My face warmed again. The hots for me?
Even recently, when I’d discovered Kendra was flirting with me, I’d been surprised. Of course, I’d had people crushing on me, saying they had the hots for me, but it wasn’t something I had an easy time thinking about myself.
I said, “I guess that’s true.”
“Besides, you’ve known me long enough to know I’m not the most rational guy in the world, so we can stop pretending around that too.”
We shared a laugh, one we both really needed as we found ourselves in this weird-ass situation together.
“I should have pushed you away sooner than I did.”
His brows shifted on his forehead as he eyed me with suspicion. “Pushed me away? I hope you’re not going to act like you don’t remember kissing me back.”
For some reason, hearing him speak the words, even as softly as they pushed from his mouth, part of me feared that someone in the hall would overhear, that the words would fly through the air, the walls, and far beyond, to the ears of someone like Sheila, who would perk up, ready to attack me for my unethical and illegal behavior.
“I’m not suggesting I didn’t, Kyle. I did, more than once, and I shouldn’t have encouraged it.”
“Well, ya did.”
He sounded angry, like it was all my fault. If he’d expected me to do the thing any teacher would have done—should have done—in that instance, he was right.
“I’m sorry if you feel I did something to violate you, or take advantage. If you need to report this…”
His forehead creased as he assessed my expression, and I could tell he thought I’d lost my damn mind. “I kissed you first, James.”