Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 111089 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 555(@200wpm)___ 444(@250wpm)___ 370(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111089 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 555(@200wpm)___ 444(@250wpm)___ 370(@300wpm)
What had started as lust had evolved into so much more, and even though I would have respected his space had he let me leave, I was sure I would have hated him for the rest of my life—it would have been the only way for me to bear the pain of his rejection.
He’d had every reason to let me leave, but he hadn’t.
Thank God.
He shoved my pants down my legs with my briefs, and I shuffled them down my legs as I helped him unbutton his shirt. He started to undo his fly, but a burst of inspiration overcame me and I stooped down, hooking my arms around his legs, hoisting him into the air, and setting him down carefully on the desk. I pulled off his shoes as he pushed his pants down his legs. By the time he’d gotten to his ankles, I ripped the pants right off him and discarded them in the pile with my clothes.
We could only be away from each other’s mouths for so long, though, and each time they came back together, our jaws and teeth would clash for a moment as we worked back into our rhythm.
Seeing James seated in just the open shirt reminded me of everything he hid behind all those nice button-downs and khakis on a typical school day. Every curve, every hint of hair that had slipped out of the open button just under his collar, had given way to fantasy after fantasy, erection after erection through fourth period, and now I had him.
“You’ve been very naughty, withholding all this from me,” I told him, making him laugh as we kissed once again. His legs tucked close on either side of my hips. The heat radiating off his face warmed my cheeks as I tugged him even closer, my cock resting on his pelvis, nestled in his trim pubes. I licked my palm before gripping his cock, stroking while we made out.
Water hurried down my cheeks. I assumed it came from my damp hair before realizing it was coming from James. I pulled back, noticing the tears flooding from his eyes. I put my hand to his face, wiping away a tear with my thumb.
“Hey, you okay?”
He opened his mouth and seemed to choke on his words.
“Whatever it is you want to say, you can tell me. You’re safe with me, James. If this is too much, if you want me to stop, if I pushed too hard, I may fucking hate it, but talk to me.”
“No, these are good tears. I didn’t realize I could feel like this. I had a moment when we kissed before, but this…it’s like everything bad in my life, and that searing pain that sometimes cripples me, is all gone. Fucking gone.”
I relaxed, my forehead against his, enjoying the pure relief his words offered.
“That must sound crazy,” he added.
“No. I’ve had chemistry with many, but when I touch you, it’s different. There’s this ache all through my body. Tension in my chest, stiffness in my jaw. Sometimes I ball my hands into fists like I’m white-knuckling a steering wheel. I spend so much time trying to do things to make that pain go away…and then I touched you, and we shared that kiss, and in a moment, something I spent my life trying to make go away, it was all gone, and I was free, really fucking free.”
James leaned back, studying my face, his eyes narrowed. “You’re too young to feel that kind of pain.”
“Pain doesn’t have an age limit.”
“I didn’t mean it that way. Just doesn’t seem right or fair.”
“None of it is right or fair. The world makes all these goddamn rules we have to blindly obey. And it feels like every rule is just to keep us from having a moment where we can think clearly, a moment where we can fucking breathe without the weight of the universe crushing us, fucking suffocating us.”
I closed my eyes, pulling close to him once again, breathing him in. As I felt his flesh against me, that healing sensation being near him brought me, I ran my nose along his cheek to his ear, whispering, “No more fighting, James. We felt all the pain, endured it as much as we could bear. Isn’t it time to feel something else?”
“Yes,” he said, a word he couldn’t have known how much I’d wanted to hear from him.
“Say it again,” I whispered, and as he did, I kissed his neck beneath his ear. He whispered it again and again, as though he could intuit that was what I needed in that moment, and what it was doing to me. Yes, he wanted this as much as I did. Yes, he would surrender to me, as I’d been wanting him to for far too long. Yes, we could finally explore one another freely, physically, as we had done emotionally since the day I’d first seen him coming from the faculty parking lot.