Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 68691 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 343(@200wpm)___ 275(@250wpm)___ 229(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68691 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 343(@200wpm)___ 275(@250wpm)___ 229(@300wpm)
But that was none of my business, not anymore at least. In the instant moment, I was busy with Cambodia, with the non-profit I’d started, with my clients, and most of all, my babies. Here halfway around the world, so far away from everything poisonous, everything messed up and twisted, my babies would be born, pure, innocent, and sweet, and I was going to stay no matter what the men said or did.
So I shook my head again, sweetly serious, forcing myself to draw upon the reserves of calm I’d developed in my few months here, my resolute focus on being centered, happy, going with the flow of Fate rather than struggling and making myself miserable.
I took a deep breath and began.
“Please don’t come in here and tell me what to do,” I said civilly but with an edge to my voice. “I’m my own woman and these babies are going to be born in Southeast Asia.”
And the brothers switched to persuasion then, turning on the charm, unaware of my transformation. They still believed I was a naïve eighteen year-old girl, ready to bend to their every will, swayed by their power and confidence, the sheer certainty that infused their every action.
“Baby, it’s not too late to come back,” said Karl reasonably. “After all, you’re what? In your second trimester? You don’t need to worry about flying.”
And I rolled my eyes. Hadn’t he heard me? Flying was the least of my worries.
“Honey,” added Kato, “we can look after you better in St. Venetia. Sure, we’re military men now, all three of us, but we’ve pledged to stay in the vicinity until everything gets worked out. And clearly that means until after the babies are born.”
And I interrupted then.
“I don’t need you to be with me, I can do just fine on my own, thank you very much,” I said archly. “I’ve been here on my own for months now, and in that time I’ve started my own non-profit. See?” I said tapping the banner in back of me. “Khmer Outreach Center, or K.O.C. as I like to call it. Isn’t it cool? I’m doing the same thing I did back with Roma Outreach, except here I focus on Cambodian women who want to open their own businesses, whether selling flowers, or wheat, or providing child-care. I’m only lending small sums, maybe up to $100 per business, but we have a 75% payback rate and I’ve got a waiting list for women who might want a loan,” I said proudly.
The men were silent for a moment.
“That’s wonderful,” rumbled Kristian. “I, more than anyone, know how dedicated you were to microfinance back in St. Venetia. But why do you have to do it here? There are plenty of non-profits back home, why couldn’t you go back to Roma Outreach, work with the Roma again, or join any number of charities in St. Venetia? They all do good work,” he frowned.
And I blew a strand of hair out of my face.
“That’s it exactly, you see?” I said slowly. “You run over my hopes and dreams, making it all about you and your family drama. Not that I blame you,” I added quickly, “there’s been a lot of drama lately. But we didn’t experience it together. The moment things got bad, the three of you guys got the hell out of Dodge, leaving me alone to deal with everything by myself. And was that the right thing to do? Leaving your best girl home alone, pregnant, to pick up the pieces?”
The men look shamefaced but tried to defend themselves.
“We had to leave, Karl and I,” protested Kato. “We needed jobs baby, we needed dough to keep paying rent, make good on our debts. You know we can’t live on nothing but dreams.”
“Yes of course,” I replied. “I understand. But I also offered to support us, continue working at Roma Outreach while we got everything under control. Instead you guys took the first offer that landed and beat feet as fast as you could, here one day and gone the next.”
The twins looked shamefaced, Kato almost speaking again but Karl beat him to it.
“I know what you mean, honey,” he said, “but please understand. We’d just discovered that our father had tried to get in touch with us, had wanted to know as boys and it was our mother, Violet, who’d turned us against him, painting him as a monster, a user who fucked her once and never bothered to call. So everything we based our lives on was fake, and we needed some distance to process it.”
“I understand,” I said somberly. “Sometimes getting away does wonders, look at me now after all,” I said, gesturing to the office. “I’ve come to Cambodia to refresh myself, establish a new company, find my peace, and raise my children. But there’s a big difference,” I paused. “I wasn’t leaving you behind. I held down the fort for as long as I could until it no longer made sense to.”