Total pages in book: 131
Estimated words: 125121 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 626(@200wpm)___ 500(@250wpm)___ 417(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 125121 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 626(@200wpm)___ 500(@250wpm)___ 417(@300wpm)
After Adonis, we needed them. Didn’t make me any less afraid of what they’d say. What would I do if Wilder said he wasn’t a fan of sharing and wanted me to himself? What did I do if Rafael told me no relationship between us would last past my “I dos” to Victor?
“I’ve done stuff with all of you,” I said, staring hard at my bowl of curry. “Is that... okay?”
My goodness, I sounded like an idiot.
A finger tickled my chin, lifting me up. “Is this about Wilson?” Rafael asked.
“No. Well... maybe a little bit. I told him that I won’t give you guys up, but I was getting ahead of myself. We haven’t talked long-term about us, or what happens when I get married in less than a year. I promised Victor I wouldn’t force him into a relationship he doesn’t want, but I haven’t asked what kind of relationship you guys want either.”
Sighing, I sat up straight, finally meeting their eyes. “This is me asking. What do you want? A relationship? A hookup? A friend? A no-strings relationship that ends when I walk down the aisle? Tell me.”
No one spoke for long enough that the silence grated on my ears. I was two seconds away from taking my bowl and running upstairs.
“These questions are for the three of us since Cato’s been clear about what he wants.” Rafael jerked a thumb at his brother. “I don’t have to tell you he wasn’t joking.”
I smiled at Cato. “Never had two men want to marry me before. Actually, make that one and a half.”
“That’s the thing, Luna. Do you want to marry him?”
“If I don’t, I’ll have to leave Regalia U and Victor—”
“No,” Rafael sliced in, taking my hand. “Do you want to marry Cato?”
I blinked at him. “What?”
“Do you want to marry Cato? Do you want to date me long-term? Do you want to hook up with Lucien? What do you want, Luna?” His gaze bore into me. “We haven’t talked relationships because we didn’t want to pressure you, or give you ultimatums. You’re engaged to another guy, and you’re engaged to that guy so that you can be here for Winter.
“How fucked up would it be if we let our dicks get in the way? Cloud Girl, we haven’t told you what we are... because we’ve been waiting for you to tell us.”
My lips parted but nothing came out. Not for a second did it occur to me that we didn’t have this conversation because they were waiting for me to be ready for it.
“Oh.”
“What do you want, Lady Luna?” Lucien claimed my other hand and pressed a soft kiss on my knuckles. “Because I need there to be no confusion. I want you.”
“I... I...” I flicked between them. My intense, strong, unyielding Wilder. My smooth, sweet, dark Lucien. My wild, dizzying Cato. And my sexy, confident Rafael. What did I want from them... other than everything? “I can’t say.” I squeezed my eyes shut, shamed at the thoughts going through my head. “It’s too terrible. Too selfish.”
“Tell us,” Wilder said. A gentle hand through my hair turned my head to him. “It can’t be terrible or selfish. It’s you.”
My stomach twisted thinking of what happened in Adonis’s office. I wasn’t ashamed of what we did—which was the problem.
“I’m not as wonderful as you guys think I am. The Luna that I’m still pretending to be died the day she lost her sister.”
“Look at who you’re talking to,” Rafael said. “We’ve sat at this very table night after night, planning blackmail, revenge, and murder. We’ve only ever seen the person you are now. And she’s hot as fuck.”
I cracked a smile. Of course Rafael would slip that in. Of course he’d make me smile. It’s what he did. He never judged me or made me feel anything less than amazing. Lucien never told me anything but the truth. Wilder always made me feel safe. Cato made me feel like the darkest, most twisted parts of me were beautiful. If I could tell anyone what I wanted, it was them.
“I want to be with you. All of you. In every way you can be with a person, but...” I took a deep breath. “I want you to only be with me.”
Wilder twisted my strands around his fingers. “We share you, but you don’t share us.”
I slumped over. “I told you it was awful and selfish. Victor called me out on the same crap, but I can’t help it. I have feelings for all of you. I can’t choose. Though when I think of you being with anyone else, I want to claw that girl’s eyes out and toss her body in the grave next to yours.”
“There won’t be any girl.” Lucien rubbed slow, mind-scrambling circles on my palm. “I accepted a while ago that there’s only you.”