Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 87015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
“Oh.” I supposed that was a compliment, but I’d heard enough locker room talk over the years to know that quick wasn’t usually a good thing.
“Yeah. Oh.” He kept right on grinning, clearly pleased with something. Maybe me. I couldn’t tell. My head was all swimmy like I’d fallen off an obstacle and missed the safety net.
“I…um…” I had more oxygen, but speech was still failing me even as my pulse rate returned to normal.
“Get your answer?” His eyes sparkled and his mouth was more pink than usual. Because of me. Because we’d…fuck. In the heat of the moment, I’d forgotten all about experiments and questions, but now it all came rushing back to me. My stomach churned. Had this all been a game to him? Take one for the team to help me figure myself out?
“I need a minute.” I sucked in a breath, trying to quiet my stomach before I added hurling to my very stellar performance. “Feels like everything is spinning.”
“Sorry!” His lazy humor was replaced by earnest concern. He rolled off me to lie right next to me, putting his hand over my galloping heart. “That was mainly a tease, but you can have all the minutes you need.”
His niceness was going to be my undoing. I lay there, shorts damp and clinging to uncomfortable places, brain fritzing like a fuzzy radio signal, chest pounding, his warm hand the one thing keeping me from vibrating apart.
“Sorry,” I whispered.
“It’s okay.” He moved his hand in soothing circles. “Take your time. It’s okay if you need to think.”
I breathed in and out, like the end of the yoga video. Didn’t help. I hated feeling this helpless and overwhelmed. I struggled to sit up, shrugging off his touch as I rolled upward. “I should get cleaned up.”
“Okay. I’ll let you have your minute.” He nodded solemnly. “But, Cash? I’m here when you’re ready to talk about it.”
I knew he was, and that made all of this so, so much harder.
Chapter Fourteen
Cash
It seemed I wasn’t done being a coward. I took my time in the bathroom cleaning up. I snuck over to the sleeping nook for clean clothes, very deliberately not looking to see if Daniel was still in the main living area. His concerned yet sympathetic expression as I’d walked away wasn’t something I was forgetting anytime soon. He hadn’t been mad at me for bailing. He’d been understanding, far more so than I deserved. I had thirteen years on him, but in this, he had me beat for maturity.
After the bathroom, I escaped to the back porch. I claimed the porch swing, creaking back and forth under a sliver of a moon and a billion twinkling stars that all reminded me of Daniel’s eyes, how bright they’d been right after we’d…
Had sex. Made out. Come on, Cash. You had no problem doing. You can think the words now.
Okay. I’d kissed Danny Love, and nothing, absolutely nothing, not even earning my trident, had felt so right in my life. That was my truth, and I sat there with it so long the cold seeped into my bones and my jangly nerves all froze.
At first, my mind had raced, overwhelmed, but then numbness set in. By the time I heard the squeak of the back door, my brain was somehow both too full and too empty at the same time. No room for deep thoughts.
“I brought you a blanket.” Daniel draped something soft over me. “You don’t have to come inside, but Duncan will have my head if I let you turn into an ice pop on my watch.”
“I’m supposed to be watching you,” I groaned. God, in all my sitting out here, that was the one thing I hadn’t dwelled on but probably should have. “Trust me. You’re not the one he’s gonna kill.”
“Duncan’s not going to find out.” Daniel’s tone was patient. “This is between you and me. And for what it’s worth, I’ve never felt more watched in my life. You see me.”
“Yeah.” I exhaled, breath hanging in the air. It went both ways. Maybe I saw something in him others didn’t or couldn’t, but he saw the me I hadn’t even let myself see. Shivering, I pulled the blanket tighter.
“It’s the fuzziest thing in the house. I would have used the dryer to warm it, but I couldn’t find one.” Daniel shifted his weight from side to side.
“It’s okay. And thanks.”
“You did it for me when I was feeling bad.” He stood there another minute or so while I tried to find a better way to express how much this meant to me. But words were never my strong point, and he sighed before I could get anything out. “Well, I guess I’ll go inside. I didn’t want to intrude, but I couldn’t let you freeze either.”