Total pages in book: 132
Estimated words: 125465 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 627(@200wpm)___ 502(@250wpm)___ 418(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 125465 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 627(@200wpm)___ 502(@250wpm)___ 418(@300wpm)
A brief smile touches his lips. “I love you, too. Always.”
I touch my chest again, this time leaving my hand over my heart. “For years, all I could do was think about you. Want you. I craved you for so long. You know I did.”
“You made life impossible for me,” he murmurs with a soft chuckle.
“I know. I wasn’t about to give up on you. On us. Because I knew, I knew it in my soul, that you were the only man I would ever love. You’re my soul mate. We were meant to be together.”
“I agree with you.”
“So how do you think it makes me feel to know you could throw it all away? For… revenge?”
He holds up a hand, breathing heavier than before.
I’m pushing him, aren’t I? But dammit, I deserve to have my say. This is supposed to be a relationship, not a one-way street.
“Listen,” I whisper, struggling to keep my own emotions in check before I do something stupid like start screaming or throwing things. “If you were to be shot… if I lost you…”
I have to turn my head away, my chest so tight I can hardly breathe.
“Just thinking about it hurts. It hurts so much. The thought of you dying or not being here.”
“Don’t think about it, then.”
“Right.” I bark out a disbelieving laugh, my head swinging around to face him again. “It’s that easy. Though honestly, I guess it should be. I’ve had to stop thinking about unpleasant things my entire life. Just think about something nice, or maybe try not to think about anything at all. Is that what you’re asking me to do?”
“It might help.”
“Seriously?”
“What else do you want me to say?”
“That you’ll stop this? Maybe?”
His face falls—not that I didn’t already know I was asking the impossible, but a tiny hope flickered in the back of my mind.
Like maybe if he saw what this was doing to me, I might be able to get through. Whatever veil is over his eyes would lift so he could see the truth of how his actions affect me. Hurt me.
And him. How it’s changing him.
I’m afraid to say it. I don’t want him to take it as an attack. It would mean losing the ground I’ve managed to gain. I could end up back in the bedroom, locked away like a child who talked back one time too many.
“It’s hurting me,” I finally settle on whispering. “I’m sorry. I’m trying as hard as I can to follow your lead and trust this will all be okay, but the way you describe the people you’re after… they’re monsters.”
“Monsters who deserve to die.”
“Monsters who could be capable of anything.” I force myself to hold his gaze rather than back down. I don’t want to back down anymore. He’s too important. My love for him is more important than my fear. “I can’t lose you. It would kill me. I’d want to die, too.”
It’s like my words have the power to break through whatever was holding him in place. Even though I tense, wanting to hold myself back, he gathers me in his arms. I can’t pretend it doesn’t feel good, that my heart doesn’t cry out in relief at his touch. That burying my face against his chest and breathing in his familiar scent isn’t a balm on my troubled soul.
“Please, don’t say that.” His lips graze the top of my head, my ear, my cheek. “I can’t handle the thought of you dying, but especially not because of me.”
“Then please, please, rethink this.” With his T-shirt gathered in my fists, damp from the tears I can’t contain, I look up at him. “Please. For me. Protect yourself for me.”
He searches my face, his eyes troubled, muscles twitching. I want so much to take this away from him, all of it. I would give anything to spare him even a moment’s heartache.
But I can’t. Not this time. I can’t make this right for him.
He’s got to make it right for himself.
I know it. But I don’t have to like it.
His eyes slowly close, his head hanging low until our foreheads touch. “Scarlet. My angel. I wish I could. I really do.”
“But?” My lip trembles.
“But this isn’t about me alone. If it was, I might consider it.” He strokes my cheeks with his thumbs, his touch gentle and loving. “I wish I had the luxury of thinking about myself alone. But if they’re out there, doing the same shit they were before, countless other lives are at risk, and I can’t forget them.”
He lifts his head with a groan. “Like in Reno. Kids are going missing, runaways and street kids who’ve suddenly vanished after being seen with a guy who looks a lot like the son of the couple who founded Safe Haven. Those kids, their families… I can’t sit back, knowing what Rebecca is capable of, and not do anything about it.”