Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 74226 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 371(@200wpm)___ 297(@250wpm)___ 247(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74226 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 371(@200wpm)___ 297(@250wpm)___ 247(@300wpm)
But I’m not a little kid anymore, and I wasn’t that naïve even when I was a kid. Certain experiences have a way of beating naïvete out of you.
“Yeah?” I ask, propping myself up on one elbow while the door opens and Scarlet pokes her head into the room.
“Can I come in? I wanted to talk.” I don’t care what she wants to do. I wouldn’t turn her down for anything. Especially when she’s wearing a tiny pair of shorts and a thin t-shirt I can almost see through when the light from the hallway hits her from behind. I’m only human, and I’ve been missing her.
“Is it okay if I get in with you?” I hate that she feels like she has to ask. Rather than say anything I throw the blanket back and lie down again before she climbs in next to me, burrowing under the blanket, curling up against my body. Fuck, she smells good. I can barely think for how good she smells. And how good it feels to have her next to me, so warm.
“Thanks.” She clears her throat, itching a little closer. “Do you mind?” Her arm slides across my bare chest and my breath catches. I’m not going to stop her from draping her arm over me, then resting her head on my chest. It’s not long before she’s in my arms and I’m holding her close, grateful for an unexpected gift.
“I really needed this,” she whispers. Her soft hair spills over my shoulder, and I take a deep breath to inhale the sweetness.
“I think I did, too,” I admit. She makes a happy little noise that brings a smile to my lips before I tighten my grip around her. For a little while it’s enough to lie here in the dark, nobody watching my every move, nobody distrusting me. It’s not long, though, until I have to ask the question that’s been on my mind ever since I saw her tonight. “Tell me the truth. Why did you go to the bar?“
At first, she only grumbles a little, but I’m not going to let it go. I want to hear it from her mouth. She keeps talking about not taking risks anymore, then she does something like that. What if Tony hadn’t been there?
Finally, she sighs. “You know I wanted to be there because you were there.”
“Why?”
She raises her head and looks me in the eye, and in the faint moonlight coming in through the windows I see the way she narrows her eyes. “What kind of question is that?”
“The kind of question I want an answer to.”
“Very funny.” She rests against my shoulder again with another sigh. “I just wanted to be with you. I mean, yeah, I wanted to make sure they weren’t any stupid skanks trying to get in your pants, too. That was part of it.”
The fact that she still wants to be with me after everything is enough as it is. But knowing she was jealous is a whole other story. This probably isn’t the time for me to get all full of myself, but I can’t help it. She really does still want me, to the point of following me out to keep an eye on us.
Her leg slides over mine like she’s trying to make herself more comfortable, and a helpless sort of yearning rises in me. I was staying away from her to keep her safe, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still weak when it comes to her touch. Having her this close makes it tough to breathe, but I would rather suffocate than tell her to leave me alone. I need her too much.
“Can I ask you something?” It’s not a comfortable question, but it’s the question I keep coming back to. Every time I try to make sense of her having sex with River, all I want to know is why.
“Of course. Whatever you want to know.” Fuck, she is so sweet and trusting. Her heart is so open to me, even now. Just when I think I can’t love her more, she proves otherwise.
Now that the moment is here, I have to find the right words. “When you’re with River… having sex, I mean… is it different? Am I different?”
“That’s really hard to explain,” she murmurs in a soft voice.
“I shouldn’t have asked.”
“No, I’m glad you did. I’m just trying to find the words.” She props her chin on her hand, sitting on my chest. All I can do is stroke her hair and try to commit the feel of it to my memory in case there’s any reason why we have to stay apart. Life is so damn unpredictable.
“When I’m with River,” she eventually murmurs, speaking slowly like she’s choosing her words carefully, “you’re… free. There’s no restraint. You don’t hold anything back. And I guess I like it.” She squeezes her eyes tightly shut, wincing. “I’m sorry if that sounds wrong.”