Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 79553 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79553 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Not wanting to go home, I have my driver take me to Declan’s place. He’s become such a good friend, and right now, I don’t want to be alone. He’s been down ever since Gage almost died, so I know he’ll appreciate the company.
Before heading up to his place, I check the bar, where he seems to spend the majority of his time these days, and sure enough, I see him sitting there, throwing back a shot. “Drinking alone?” I ask, sliding onto the seat next to him.
“Got no one to drink with.”
He downs his shot, then glances over at me with his hypnotizing blue eyes. He rakes his gaze down my body, and my heart goes haywire, something that’s been happening more often. I ignore it because Declan is not only my friend but also my brother’s best friend and bandmate. And while ninety-nine percent of the time, I make shitty decisions, I’d never do anything that would potentially jeopardize my brother’s friendships or band.
“You okay?” he asks when his eyes land on my face—no doubt noticing my splotchy and tearstained cheeks. One thing about Declan is that he notices everything when it comes to me.
Not wanting to get into the details of tonight, I change the subject. “How’s Gage?”
“Alive.”
“Because of you.”
“No, he almost died because of me.”
When he reaches for the bottle, I pour it for him and hand him the glass. “You saved his life, Dec.” I hate that he’s drowning in guilt when he’s the reason Gage is even alive.
“His life never should’ve needed saving in the first place.” He downs the shot and slams it on the table, glaring at me. I don’t take it personally since it’s only because I’m the one who’s here for him to take his guilt out on.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“Yeah, it fucking was.” He eyes me. “What are you doing here, anyway?”
I pour myself a shot. “Same thing as you…” I down it and cringe as the whiskey burns going down. “Trying to drown my problems at the bottom of a bottle.”
I can tell he wants to ask questions, but thankfully, he pours us each another shot instead. “To drowning our problems.”
“To forgetting the world exists.”
We spend the next couple of hours pushing our problems aside and focusing on simply living in the moment. We drink and dance, and when the bar announces that it’s closing, I’m not ready for the night to end or to walk away from Declan when all I want to do is get lost in him. This isn’t the first time I’ve had these thoughts, but the liquor running through my veins is allowing me to go after what I want.
What about Kyle?” Declan asks when I tell him I want to continue the night upstairs at his place.
“We’re over.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.” I drag my nails up his neck, stopping at his bun, and tug on it gently, loving the way his thick hair falls around his face. “I just…” I swallow thickly. “I just wanna forget.” Declan just might be the only person in the world that I feel like I can be somewhat honest with, who I know won’t judge me. Because he gets it. Gets me. “Please, Dec,” I breathe. “Help me forget.”
And that’s exactly what he does… helps me forget, over and over again.
I shake my head as several more memories hit me hard…
Declan telling me he’s in love with me… and has been for years. Asking me to give us a chance. Me scared of hurting him, of tearing apart the band and my family. Scared of what people would think if I jumped from guy to guy.
But in the end, my heart wins out, and I promise him that once I get my shit together, we can see where things go. And Declan, the amazing man he is, tells me he’ll wait however long it takes.
“Kendall, what are you doing here?” Kyle asks, forcing me to focus on him and the woman he was just balls deep in.
“You fucked her while we were engaged.”
Kyle’s eyes widen, realizing I know. Because of the accident and my memory loss, he thought he’d gotten away with it.
“Why would you continue with our sham of an engagement if you wanted her?”
“Because he pitied you,” Britney snarks. “It would’ve looked bad if he dumped you after you’d just been injured.”
“Can we talk alone?” I ask him, ignoring her. I should probably be more upset than I am about being cheated on, but honestly, I’m not. I realized a long time ago Kyle wasn’t the one for me, and this whole time I felt guilty, thinking I was the one who hurt him. But now that I know the truth, that guilt has been washed away. But I do have some questions.