Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 79553 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79553 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Once I’m dressed, the doctor gives me several pictures of the babies, who are labeled A and B. I make my next appointment, and then we head out. Since I didn’t drive here, instead of calling my driver to pick me up, I go with my mom in her vehicle. The ride to her house is silent. We stop at the pharmacy to get the prenatal vitamins that Dr. Weisberg prescribed and then swing by the deli to grab lunch to take back to her house. When we get there, the place is quiet.
“Phoebe is at school,” she explains. “And your dad is at work.”
I nod, setting the drinks on the counter. Ever since I found out how far along I am, and what that means, I’ve gone numb. My mom let it go since we were at the doctor’s office and then in the car, but now that we’re home, I know she won’t let it slide for much longer. I swallow down the vitamin, and then we eat in silence. The subs are from our favorite deli, but it tastes like cardboard today. While we eat, Declan texts me a few times, asking how it’s going since he thinks I’m in a meeting with the label regarding my upcoming album. It’s the first time I’ve lied to him, and it makes me sick to my stomach.
“Kendall,” my mom says once we’re both done eating. “Talk to me.” She takes my hand and guides us over to the couch. “Tell me what’s going through your head. You were given a lot of information today, so it’s normal to be a bit overwhelmed, but I’m mostly worried about one piece of information in particular. How far along you are.”
“Declan’s not the dad.” Saying those words, despite my mom already knowing, were probably the hardest, most gut-wrenching words I’ve ever had to speak, and as the last word leaves my lips, the numbness that was temporarily holding me together disappears, forcing me to feel every heartbreaking emotion.
Tears fill my lids, blurring my vision, as a sob rises up my throat and forces its way out. My mom pulls me into her arms, and I bury my face in her chest, crying for everything I’m about to lose. Deep down, I always knew that the elusive happily ever after my parents and siblings have gotten with their significant others wasn’t in the cards for me. It’s why I always chose to sing about heartbreak.
But the hardest part is knowing I came so close to having it, only for it to be ripped out of my grasp. And what’s even worse is that, while I’m devastated that I’m about to lose the man I love, I feel guilty because I can’t regret getting pregnant. My babies, despite being Kyle’s and not Declan’s, already own my heart. The moment I heard their heartbeats and saw their tiny bodies fluttering across the screen, I fell in love.
And it’s at this moment I finally understand why my mom was able to love me despite me having half of that monster’s DNA.
“I get it,” I choke out. “All these years, I’ve wondered how you could love me when half of me comes from such a horrible person. When I found out the things he did to those women, I started to push you away because I didn’t understand how you could look at me and not see that evil monster…”
“Oh, Kendall,” my mom murmurs softly, lifting my face and pushing my hair out of my eyes. “Why didn’t you say something? From the moment I found out I was pregnant, you became my entire world.”
“I get it now,” I say, crying in her arms. “Because despite these babies being Kyle’s, I love them so much, and even though it breaks my heart that they’re not Declan’s, it doesn’t make me love them any less.”
“Of course it doesn’t,” she says. “That’s called a mother’s love. We love our babies unconditionally.”
“I have to break up with Declan,” I tell her through a sob that has my entire body shaking. “And before you tell me I’m being ridiculous, I’m not. Declan is the best guy I know. He loves with his entire heart, and I know he'll accept these babies if I ask him to, but that’s not fair to him. He deserves to find a woman he can love and create a life with. He’s so romantic and wants it all—the marriage and kids—and it’s not fair to force him into a situation where he has to play stepdad and deal with Kyle.”
Fuck, Kyle… “Ugh, I’m going to have to tell Kyle I’m pregnant.” I would never keep a man from knowing his children, but what a damn mess this is.
“When I met your father, you weren’t his, but you’d never know it,” Mom points out.