Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 127476 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 637(@200wpm)___ 510(@250wpm)___ 425(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127476 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 637(@200wpm)___ 510(@250wpm)___ 425(@300wpm)
He holds his hand up to stop me. "Save it, Ignazio. Whatever it is, I don't want to hear it." His gaze flickers to Karissa briefly before he turns to glare at me. "Just don't make me visit another woman's grave because of you."
My father walks away, and I think, as he disappears from the cemetery, that this is probably one of the last times I'll ever speak to him.
"Naz?"
I turn around when Karissa says my name and immediately pull her into my arms, hugging her tightly.
"Are you ready to get out of here?" I ask.
"Yes."
She gives one last long look at where her mother will forever rest before turning away. We head to my car and climb in, and I watch the rearview mirror as we pull away, waiting for the police cruiser to follow me, but it turns the other way.
They don't come after me.
Someday, but not today.
I breathe a sigh of relief, reaching over and taking Karissa's hand, giving it a squeeze.
I don't go home.
Karissa doesn't question it.
I drive north, out of the city.
She watches out the side widow, still holding my hand, but she remains silent. Maybe she's afraid to ask questions. Maybe she just trusts me to take her somewhere safe.
I don't know, but I appreciate her silence.
It's more comfortable than I expect it to be.
Dr. Carter's place is dead quiet, no cars around, no people anywhere. I pull the Mercedes right up front and cut the engine as Karissa eyes the building with confusion. There's only a small sign along the side, but her eyes zero in on it.
Dr. Michael Carter
Veterinary Services
"You're kidding me," she says, her eyes turning to me. "I thought he was a doctor."
"He is," I say. "A doctor of veterinary medicine."
"You got shot, you nearly died, and instead of calling 9-1-1, you made me call a fucking vet?"
Her disbelief makes me laugh, but I don't comment. Instead, I open the car door. "Come on, there's something I want to show you."
She gets out of the car after me and I lead her straight out back. The moment I round the corner, I hear the growling and pause, glaring down at a pair of beady brown eyes as they glare at me.
"Killer!"
Karissa gasps, pushing away from me to run to him. His growling ceases instantly as he grows excited at the sight of her, jumping up and down. Karissa drops to her knees, wrapping her arms around the dog as she starts sobbing.
She loses it.
She cries long and hard.
She's in pain.
Torture.
I can feel it emanating from her.
It exists deep down in her soul.
It's not about the dog, I know. It isn't even really about her mother, and it certainly isn't her father. It has nothing to do with him. It's not about me, or her, or anyone else. Not about Daniel, or Paul, or Ray. It's about life, and how cruel it can sometimes be.
How unfair life is.
All of us have a hand in it.
We do what we have to do, take what we have to take, and sometimes we hurt people we swear we won't hurt, but we do, because life makes us.
It's a dog eat dog world.
We're all monsters, when it comes down to it.
Her eyes meet mine.
She mouths the words 'thank you'.
I do nothing but nod.
I don't deserve her gratitude.
But she's the kind of woman who is grateful, anyway.
I'm going to tell you something that a wise man once told me: it's not the darkness that's terrifying, it's what you might find in it.
I was always afraid of the dark as a child, afraid monsters would sneak into my room at night, but now I know there's nothing to fear. Not because monsters don't exist. They do. I've seen them. I've encountered them. One attacked me as I slept.
I even became one myself afterward.
No, the reason there's nothing to fear in the dark is because real monsters lurk in the light, too. They hide in plain sight. The trick is to find them before they can get you.
I'm not a good man.
I'm not.
I know.
But Karissa tells me maybe I'm not a bad man, either. I'm the kind of man who easily slips between the dark and the light, the kind of monster who walks along the shadows.
Through the darkness, I stare at where Karissa lays beside me in the bed. She regards me warily, eyes guarded and nervous as she waits for a reaction. I'm panting, trying to catch my breath, trying to calm down and purge the memories from my head.
I hate these fucking nightmares.
Seconds pass as she waits me out before there's a noise out in the hallway, something scratching against the bedroom door.
Panicking, I don't even think about it as I protectively grab ahold of Karissa, forcing her behind me. My heart stalls as I stare at the door, feeling her hands on me.
"Relax," she whispers, grabbing my arm. "It's just Killer."
Killer.
It takes a moment for that to sink in, but I don't relax, my muscles taut and shoulders tense. I offer Karissa a small smile as she leans over, lightly kissing my lips.
I kiss her back as she runs her hands along my face, wiping the sweat from my brow. She questions nothing. She asks nothing of me. I give her the world and for that, she offers trust. We both know I don't deserve it.
I never will.
But I'm grateful, and I show her.
I climb on top of her, kissing her deeper, more frenzied. It's instinctive, as she opens herself up, spreading her legs to accommodate me. I'm inside of her right away. With her, there's never any hesitation.
I've learned my lesson.
I find peace in the darkness sometimes now. I find peace with her. I'll never forget, but she makes me feel like it's okay to remember. It's okay to remember the pain and fear. It's okay to admit the darkness terrified me.
Because I found some light in it.
I found her.
The scratching at the door continues, followed by growling when Karissa starts to make noise. She might trust me, but Killer certainly doesn't. He takes her moans of pleasure as signs of distress and tries to break the door down to get at me.