Torn Read online Carian Cole (All Torn Up #1)

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Angst, Contemporary, Erotic, New Adult, Romance Tags Authors: Series: All Torn Up Series by Carian Cole
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Total pages in book: 156
Estimated words: 142833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
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"Yeah, she's the one that pushed me into it. A few of their service dogs are rescues so Mom has worked with them before."

"Good deal." I say, glad that he's going through with this decision. "This is a good thing, Tris. If it can make your life a little safer, that's all that matters. Right?"

He nods but still has that uncertain look in his grey eyes. "I hope so."

"Be positive. And hey, I wouldn't admit this normally but since I brought home that big white fluff monster, I'm not as lonely. It's nice to have him and that cat waiting for me when I get home after a long day."

Laughing, he shakes his head, turns and walks away. "I'm starting to worry about us, man." He jokes, turning his head. "We need to find us some chicks."

Speaking of chicks, it's been almost a week since I saw Kenzi at the bonfire, and my emotions are still all over the place from that night. The way her eyes were glued to me, glowing with a mix of love and lust as I played the guitar did way more than just turn me on like mad. It made me itch to start playing again. Every night since then I've dragged my guitar out of the closet and sat in my back yard brushing up on my old favorite songs and toying around with some new ones.

I miss my dreams.

I can still feel her lips on mine, in that daring moment when she kissed me all on her own and almost made me tear her clothes off in Asher's laundry room while he was probably twenty feet away eating her birthday cake.

I feel sick.

I feel tortured.

I feel unhinged with want for her.

I feel a deep ache in my heart that only she can soothe.

I feel like I'm stabbing a dagger straight through my best friend’s back.

The scales are tipping, though, and it's scaring the shit out of me.

I pull my phone out of my back pocket and type out a quick text, my stomach immediately knotting up.

Me: I'm taking tomorrow off and going for a ride.

Kenzi: Um ok? Thanks for the update? Shall I expect further notice?

I laugh at the screen, loving her little snarky attitude.

Me: Be outside at 8am. Jeans, boots, and your helmet.

Kenzi: I'm going too?! :-)

Me: If you want to...

Kenzi: Of course I do!

Me: Good.

Kenzi: Woot! I haven't been on your bike in years!

Me: Because that seat on my bike has been reserved.

Kenzi: For who?

Me: The woman of my dreams ;)

Kenzi: Eep

Me: Wtf is that?

Kenzi: It’s like wow.

Me: Speak English. I'm old, remember?

Kenzi: You are not. You're so cute.

Me: Please don't call me cute.

Kenzi: But you so are!

Me: I'll see you in the morning, Angel.

Kenzi: I can't wait! <3

No one's ever sent me a heart in a text message before. I touch it lightly with my finger, the knot in my stomach fraying and unraveling with threads of hope. Her love and excitement is contagious, and I honestly don't want a cure. I want to die of this sickness, if I can. Nothing and no one has ever made me feel as happy and content as she does. Not even playing or riding has been able to reach far enough into me to pull me out of the bitter state of mind that I've been dwelling in for years.

But she has. Without even trying.

And the moment I try to relax into this new feeling of contentment, the ugly monster of the situation rears its head again, sinks its claws into my heart, trying to tear it away from her, laughing at me for being naive enough to think spending a day with her would be okay.

She comes out of the house when she hears my bike pull into the driveway looking all sorts of cute and sexy in jeans, a black long-sleeved shirt with a big yellow smiley face on the front, her hair in a long braid with a little skull clip at the end. And those damn black leather boots that for some crazy reason always seem to turn me on. I'm starting to think maybe I have a foot or shoe fetish I never realized before. I quickly shove the thought to the back of my mind to be dealt with later. I want today to just be a day for us to spend time together alone, to see how it feels to just spend a day with her with no labels on us. I don't want to think about our past or the future or Ash or anything else except just us.

She approaches me with a big smile and kisses my cheek.

"You're on time. I'm impressed." She says, pulling her helmet over her head. I don't wear a helmet but there's no way I'm letting her go without one.


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