Total pages in book: 156
Estimated words: 142833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
"It's not as together as you think. Maybe I wanted what you want."
"A wife and kids? You?" She says it like it's the most shocking thing she's ever heard.
"Yeah. Why is that so hard to believe?"
She looks down at the trail as we walk. "I don't know. Not hard to believe, really. But if you had those things, you wouldn't have been around as much. I can't even imagine that. I guess I always thought we were your family," she stumbles on a rock and grabs onto my hand. "I never knew you wanted more."
I squeeze her hand in mine. "Surprise. I did. I do."
"Well, then you should get it. Your wishes should come true, too. Not just mine."
"Yeah, maybe someday." I sigh and look around the woods. I'm not sure that's ever going to happen for me.
"So how come you never married Sydni? Or got more seriously involved with any of the other girls you've dated?"
"I have a hard time committing."
Her face flashes a look of distaste. "You mean you're a cheater? That's awful."
"No, I'm not a cheater, Kenz. I'm just waiting for the one that makes me feel like forever wouldn't be long enough."
"And you've never felt like that? Not even with Sydni?" She swats a bug out of her face. "Maybe that feeling just doesn't exist."
"I think it exists. I just think sometimes fate fucks it all up for us."
"Like what happened to my parents?"
"Exactly. Your parents had everything. And fate fucked them hard. I don't know what's worse - never finding the one, or finding them and then fuckin' losing them."
Her teeth work her bottom lip as she thinks that over. "I think losing them is worse than never knowing them at all."
"You might be right. Anyway, after a few months of dating, women start to want more. They start gawking at rings in the mall, talking about kids, moving their shit into my closet. And then I back off 'cause I don't want to lead them on, ya know? I don't want them to think something's there that might not be. But I don't want to lose them, either. I just never felt like I was ready to take the dive into more than just dating. Then when they sense that, they get all fuckin' pissed off, call me an asshole, and it's all downhill from there, Angelcake."
She sighs and doesn't speak for a few moments as we walk along the trail "You paint a grim picture, Tor. But I think your forever girl is out there. You just have to find her."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence."
"Remember when I was little I used to tell everyone I was going to marry you?"
"Yup. It's the first thing you told every girlfriend I had."
Her hand covers her mouth as she laughs, her cheeks turning pink. "Oh shit. I'm sorry, Tor. I was a pain in the ass, huh?"
I wink at her affectionately. "Kinda. At least you don't do that now."
"Maybe next time you bring a girl over I'll do it just to make you laugh and see the look on her face," she teases.
I don't say anything, because a part of me wants her to do just that. It was nice to have a girl stake a claim on me and be all prepared to go to battle for my heart. Even if she was only five.
3
Kenzi
Kenzi ~ age four
Toren ~ age nineteen
I put on one of my old Elvis CDs to listen to while I boil water for ravioli. It's one of the few things she'll eat now since she's going through a weird picky eating phase.
"When are mommy and daddy coming back home?" She tugs on the leg of my jeans and stares up at me.
"Tomorrow."
She points to the stereo. "Is this my Daddy singing?"
"No, Angel. It's Elvis. Do you like it?"
"Uh huh. Will you dance me?"
I smile down at her. I did her pigtails lopsided again, but I think it adds to her cuteness. "You wanna dance?"
She raises her arms up to me and I take her hands in mine. "Okay...step on," I tell her, and she puts her tiny feet on top of mine, and we dance around the kitchen with her giggling wildly.
"We're dancin’!" she squeals.
Kenzi
Almost my entire family has congregated at our house to see me all dressed up to go to my senior prom. My father, my grandparents, my great-grandmother, Rayne, Sydni, and Toren are all here to gawk at me. I'm so embarrassed with all the attention that I want to fall through the floor. They make Jason and I pose all over the house for pictures, and Jason has actually gained a few points for being so tolerant of the whole embarrassing ordeal.
"Okay, we really have to go, or the limo is going to leave," I finally say when I can't stand it anymore. "We still have to pick up Chloe and her date."