Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 94513 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94513 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
At least, that was until…
The twisted crux came in the form of eyes bluer than the sky on a warm summer day, a slightly upturned nose with a scattering of freckles, a pink cupid bow mouth, and a smile that made a man’s knees weak.
The events that brought us here meant I should loathe her existence for eternity, yet my need for her grows with each passing day. She’s too young, she’s vulnerable and broken, but somehow, she’s not damaged. She was the cause of what had left me with this raging agony, and yet, the balm that eased my soul. Still, I can never forgive the destruction she caused me and those I love.
I had become a mockery of my revenge because holding her at night while she slept was the only thing keeping me sane. She’ll pay the price through my cruelty, never knowing that while she dreams, I find my solace.
My story begins with my worst nightmare.
And she’s the reason behind all of it.
*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************
Prologue
Crosby
The familiarity of the evening felt like a well-rehearsed act was playing around me. I knew this scene and the one after it. They all bled into the next, then hit repeat. The only thing that was different was me. My smile was fake. I had no interest in the story my best friend, Than Carver, was telling, although the others at our table were laughing.
“I Love This Bar” by Toby Keith played over the speakers, and the pungent smell of cigarette smoke and stale beer clung to the air. This had once been what I looked forward to every Friday night—Proof Pony had been letting us in the door and allowing us to drink well before the legal age. It wasn’t something they did for anyone else. They’d have been closed down long ago if they had. We were an exception. The family was always an exception.
Glancing down at my phone, I checked the time. Only thirty more minutes. I needed to leave soon. Saylor wouldn’t be ready to end the night. She’d want me to take her down to the creek or the stables on my family’s ranch. It was something we hadn’t done in a while, and she was getting insecure about us. We’d been together for almost eight years now. Hell, probably even before that. There wasn’t a memory I had from my childhood that she wasn’t connected to. I could read every expression on Saylor Rice’s face. She was … all I had known. Until a little over a month ago.
Than started to order another beer and looked at me. “You want another, or are you still the DD?” he asked.
I had slowly been drinking the one beer I’d ordered. Not because I wanted to make sure someone could drive us all home safely. But I’d let them think that was the reason. Even when Saylor laughed at me. All I had to do was call for a driver. I’d insinuated that I didn’t want to have an employee of one of our fathers knowing what we were doing or going to do later. Which wasn’t a lie. But once I took her home, I had somewhere to be. Someone else to see.
“I’ve got a fucking headache,” I lied. “I’m ready to head out.”
Than frowned as if I’d spoken a language he didn’t understand. His gaze shifted to Saylor, then back to me. “Uh, okay,” he replied. “I need to go see if Gathe is staying or going with us. He’s still working his charm on that redhead.”
Gathe Bowen didn’t give a shit about the redhead. He just wanted a hot fuck. She was new, and that was rare here—Proof Pony was a locals bar. Nothing about the exterior appealed to visitors coming through town.
Several of the others left to go get another drink while one couple headed to the dance floor now that Than wasn’t holding court with his storytelling. I stood up, not glancing down at Saylor, but holding out my hand to her so she wouldn’t notice how anxious I was to get out of here. The unspoken questions in Than’s eyes had been easy to ignore. But with Saylor, it was harder.
I loved her. I didn’t want to hurt her, but I also knew I wasn’t in love with her. The realization that I had never been in love with her hit me the moment a pair of eyes the color of a clear sky on a warm summer day looked up at me as I sank deep inside her. I couldn’t even blame it on the fact that I’d taken her virginity. When I’d taken Saylor’s virginity, the fierce emotion to own her, keep her, mark her as mine hadn’t pounded in my chest. But with Halo, it had hit me so hard for a moment that I’d lost my breath.
God, just thinking about Halo made my need to get out of here more urgent. I wanted to turn and run out the fucking door. Leave the people who had been my closest friends since birth behind. I would walk away from them all if I had to. For her. For Halo, I’d do anything.
Saylor slid her hand into mine, and I gently pulled her up as she stood.
“If you drank more than one beer, your headache would go away,” she suggested, then slid her hands up my chest. “And we could go have some fun alone.”
I couldn’t fuck her anymore. The last time I’d done it was a week ago, and the entire time, I’d fought with the tormented ache of my betrayal. I hated myself for it. What had once been familiar and comfortable was wrong. After the call I’d gotten from Halo today, I knew I’d never be able to make myself do that again. There was a truth that was coming, and I had to find the right way to handle it. Saylor might not be who I wanted in my bed and by my side, but she was one of my best friends. Losing that was gonna hurt like a bitch, but it wouldn’t rip my heart out, like losing Halo would do to me.