Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 98909 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 495(@200wpm)___ 396(@250wpm)___ 330(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98909 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 495(@200wpm)___ 396(@250wpm)___ 330(@300wpm)
Now we’re in my room, listening to music and theoretically studying for an economics test that bores us both silly. I can’t even blame my father for making me take this class. It’s a Darby requirement.
“What do you think he’ll ask about international trade?” I ask my ex, hoping she has a better handle on this material than I do.
“Keaton, I’m seeing someone,” Annika says suddenly.
It takes me a second to realize that we’ve shifted topics. “I thought you were already dating a lacrosse player?” I ask carefully. Annika and I are still friends, but we don’t talk about our sex lives. Obviously I can’t discuss mine. And I’d assumed she keeps me in the dark about hers out of respect for having dumped me.
“Oh, I wasn’t dating him,” she says. “I just needed a date for a couple of parties. We both know lacrosse is a stupid sport. I could never get past that on a long-term basis.”
I burst out laughing, because Annika always could make me smile.
She pulls out her makeup kit and starts messing around with the various tubes and bottles she keeps in there. It’s a tell that she’s nervous. I still know her so well.
“The thing is,” she says, inspecting an eyeliner pencil. “I’m super-obsessed with this guy I’m seeing. And I know that obsession isn’t often a healthy emotion, but this is so different for me. It’s exciting.”
“And you’re telling me this because…” I really can’t figure that out. “You need me to say it’s okay?”
“I guess so.” She raises her eyes from her compact mirror. “I really don’t know if he’s my forever guy. In fact, he’s probably not. But I feel like this is something I needed to do.”
“You mean he is something you needed to do.” It comes out sounding a little bitchy.
She makes a sympathetic face.
“Look, I’m sure you were right,” I say quietly. “I get it now.” She was obviously right that we weren’t sexually compatible. Hell, I’m still coming to terms with my sexual stuff. “I’m not even angry about it anymore.”
“Really?” She sits up straight and sets her makeup bag aside. “I’m pretty relieved to hear you say that. I never wanted to hurt you. In fact, it would be great if you could get a little dose of what I’m getting.”
I bite my tongue. Because if she’s banging a dude, I am getting that.
Not that I’m allowed to say so.
My glance drifts toward my stereo, which is actually playing a Sam Smith song right now. I wouldn’t listen to this guy at all if it weren’t for a certain obsession of mine. But I can’t explain that, either. And honestly it pisses me off. Lying gets old pretty fast. And I’m not used to bottling up my feelings.
“There is someone,” I admit. “I’m not comfortable discussing it with you. But I want you to know that I understand. We both needed to make some changes and try a few things out.”
Annika gasps like she’s just heard there’s a sale at Bergdorf’s. “Really? Who? And I already regret bringing it up.”
“Wait, why?”
“Well, duh!” She sits up straight in the middle of my bed. “Because now I’m desperately curious and you said you won’t tell me.”
I snort.
“Just share a crumb, Keaton.” She blinks at me with pretty eyes.
“No. And stop asking.” I take a sip of my coffee and hide behind the cup.
“Is she a dominatrix?”
I promptly choke on my coffee.
“Omigod, she is!“ Annika squeals. “I knew it. I called it!”
“You…what?” I sputter.
“I guessed it, Keaton. You’re a submissive. That’s what was missing. Do you prefer being lashed, or being tied up?”
“No! You’re not even…” I swallow my denial. I can’t argue with her because I don’t want her to keep making guesses.
“Where’d you meet her?” Annika demands. “Is there, like, a sex dungeon around here? I read Fifty Shades of Grey.”
Just kill me already.
“I know you think I’m sheltered.” She swallows hard. “But I have intuition. I knew you needed something I couldn’t give you. And I know it’s private but…” She sighs. “I hated feeling like I was always disappointing to you.”
“Annika! Jesus. You were never disappointing to me. It’s just that we got together when we were super young.”
“I get that. And I also know that breaking up with you was a big risk. There are days when I wonder if I’ll look back someday and think—Keaton was the best man ever in my life, and I was too young to realize it.”
“Aw, that won’t happen.” But is she a great girl, or what? I put down my coffee cup and pounce on her, wrapping my arms around her, but then putting one finger under her ribs where I know she’s ticklish.
“Oh my God! Get off of me, you beast.”
But I don’t relent and she howls with laughter.