Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 72060 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72060 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
He seemed lighter after hashing out their fight with me, so maybe I would be too. I take a bite of a Twizzler, then offer him one from the pack.
“Thanks.” He lies on his bed, facing me.
“I told you that my date with Dex didn’t go as planned…”
“Uh-huh.”
“I mean, if my parents had shown up like that, I would’ve canceled too.”
He nods as he reaches for another red rope. “Yep, agreed.”
“So later that night, he showed up holding the flowers he’d meant to give me.”
“Swoon!” Kael pretends to faint, and I laugh. “That man knows how to appeal to your romantic side.”
“Right?” My skin feels all tingly just remembering it. “He was all tense and frustrated after having to deal with his mom. Not that he doesn’t like spending time with her. It was mostly bad timing.”
“I’ll say.” Kael throws me a pointed look.
“So…” I gulp. “I tried to comfort him.”
Kael huffs out a laugh. “Oh, did you now? And?”
My face feels hot as I admit the obvious. “And one thing led to another.”
Kael springs to a sitting position. “Holy shit! Does this mean—”
“Nope, doesn’t mean anything.” I frown, wondering if I actually want it to. “Still a virgin, but I definitely enjoyed myself.”
“That’s all that matters, though, right? Two consenting adults?”
“Yeah.” I rub a hand across my eyes. “Except it’s all muddled now.”
“What is?”
“Our friendship and dates.” I make a frustrated noise. “It’s hard to separate them the more we play pretend.”
He watches me closely. “Are you sure he’s still pretending?”
I think about that for a long moment. “I don’t know. He’s got such a good heart and probably thinks he’s helping me.”
“Well, is he?”
“Yes and no. He’s helping me get more experience, and I love that.” More than love it. “But he’s not helping when it comes to having a solid view of the boundaries of our friendship.”
“Based.” Kael throws me a devilish grin. “Though…friends to lovers, isn’t that a popular trope in the romance books you read?”
“Oh God.” I fall against my sheets and bury my head under my pillow as realization dawns.
“What?” Kael stands and walks over to nudge me. “Bruh, are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I peek at him from behind the pillow. “I just realized friends to lovers is the trope I read most of all.”
He sits on the edge of my bed. “Why do you think that is?”
“I have no idea.” His question is a good one, though, so I take a moment to consider it. “Maybe because it feels comforting. They don’t start off as strangers, which makes the awkwardness a little easier to bear.”
“Do you think deep down you’ve always wanted this with Dex?”
“No! I swear.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “Or maybe I wasn’t aware of it, but that’s not good.”
“Why not?”
“Because he’s relationship phobic and we’re best friends.” I feel an ache in my chest. “I can’t lose him.”
“I’m sure he’s struggling in the same way.”
That thought brings me comfort. “I suppose you’re right.”
“So,” Kael says, “now that you got that off your chest, I think you should put down your book and get your butt out of this dorm room.”
I frown. While it’s true that I’ve been holed up in here, I don’t feel like socializing. “No thanks.”
“Come to Shenanigans with me for karaoke night.” He tugs on my arm. “It’ll be fun. If I leave you here all alone, you might regret it and have major FOMO.”
I scrunch my face. “No, just the opposite. I’ll have JOMO.”
“What the hell is that?”
“The joy of missing out,” I reply, and he cracks up.
“You sure? You can watch me make a fool of myself with Angelica.” He glances at his bag. “Plus, she gave me some edibles.”
“Yeah?” I sit up, suddenly keen on the idea. The last time I tried an edible, it made me feel lighter, freer—and sleepier—but right now, I just want relief from this knot in my stomach. “Okay, fine. I’m down.”
I chew one of the gummies while we get changed.
Kael glances too long at himself in the mirror. I can tell he’s nervous that his chest doesn’t look flat enough in the tighter tee he’s chosen to wear over his binder. “You look good.”
Sometimes, his dysphoria gets him down, and he has trouble looking at himself in the mirror, so I make sure to compliment him any chance I get. Though I can’t exactly relate, I know how it feels to be uncertain in your own skin.
When that sublime sensation from the gummy hits, we dance around to the music Kael pulls up on his phone. It feels good to let go, sort of like it did at the club.
Soon enough, we’re heading out the door and toward the beach, and I’m glad I agreed to get out. The salty sea air makes me feel lighter. But more than likely, it’s just the edible.