Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 76204 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 381(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76204 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 381(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
He didn’t.
None of them kissed me.
Did I want them to kiss me?
Was it important?
“Gideon, I’ve got to walk.”
“No, you need to face the fact she’s gone and she’s not coming back.”
“Fuck you.”
“No. Not fuck me. I’ve done this with you long enough. Ten months. I get that you’re hurting, and I want you to. I don’t want you to hide the pain, but you’re not living. I knew her enough to know she was willing to do anything for you, Sian. She loved you, was in love with you, but she wouldn’t want this. She’d want you to be happy.”
I hated him. I despised him, and his family, and even his friends, but, and this was a huge one, I had a horrible feeling he was right.
Heather wasn’t about holding a grudge. She had plans and wanted to live them. There were many times she’d tell me life was too short to hold a grudge, and it only made people more miserable to be around.
That, I couldn’t stand.
The last thing I wanted to do was for my best friend to be disappointed in me, but I also didn’t want Gideon to be the one to tell me all of this, either.
****
Gideon
Proof. That one word kept going around my head ever since my father had revealed they believed Coach Bilson was the one who attacked Fred. They didn’t have the proof, nor did The Society have any hard evidence. The game of cat and mouse had begun and with it, we had to sit back and wait. Fucking wait. Those were the orders given by our fathers that had come straight down from The Society. Without proof, they had nothing. Fred’s accusations had been squashed as well. They didn’t believe him because of all the injuries he sustained, so we were back to square one.
“She’s in bed, sleeping,” Dante said.
Sian hadn’t listened to me and had walked for a good three hours. I wished I knew what to say to make all this pain to go away, but nothing helped. She was in a dark, depressing place, and none of us were helping her out of it.
“You’re going to have to give her time, son,” Lucas, my dad, said.
I drank my glass full of scotch, enjoying the burn as it slid down my throat. It was okay for everyone to tell me to give it time, that she’d come around, but none of them knew the guilt.
I hadn’t been able to keep the promise I made to Sian, and that little fact alone was so fucked up. I couldn’t help her. I didn’t stop Heather’s death. I failed her. It was a bitter truth to swallow.
Standing up, I went to the drinks cabinet and poured myself another generous shot of whiskey.
It was the only thing keeping me warm at night.
I felt like the universe was laughing at me. At the end of Halloween night, I’d been so happy, so content. We’d all come together and were now joined. I thought nothing could go wrong, and yet it hadn’t been true. In a short space of time, I felt like I’d lost the only woman I’d ever wanted.
Sian had gotten under my skin and now there was no way to reach her. Every time she looked at me, I felt her judging me.
It didn’t fucking stop.
I kept expecting her to come right out and say it: You killed my best friend.
I took a deep breath and swigged my scotch. This was my fourth glass.
My father grabbed the glass out of my hand. “That is your limit.”
“Why do I have to have limits?” I asked.
“Do you think this is helping you to make the right decisions? It’s not. It’s messing with your head. You’re my son, buck the fuck up.”
“It’s easy for you to say. You’ve been living with your fuck-up for nineteen years.” I burst out laughing.
Other than my laughter, the silence in the room was somewhat deafening.
“Dude, not cool,” William said.
“What? Don’t you see history has a way of repeating itself? It looks like we’re the prime candidates.” I bent over, hand to stomach as I laughed. “I’m starting to think this is what The Society does. Picks out a girl that you rarely look at. You notice her but you don’t give her two thoughts, and then bam, you have no choice but to fuck her. She’s all part of the initiation process, and then once you’ve fallen for her, you’re going to do something that tears her from you. Break her a little bit so the person you once knew is a shell of who she was, and there is nothing you can do, even though you miss her. You had a small smidge of heaven with her, and then it is ripped from you. Is this what The Society does? Does it fuck with you like that?” I asked. My voice had gone from talking normally to yelling. “I don’t give a fuck if it makes me a man or not, but yeah, I fell for Sian. I fell for her hard.”