Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 76204 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 381(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76204 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 381(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
The money I had was the small inheritance Drew had left me. Without her money, I would have to rely on them and their dads. It was bad enough I was living in one of their houses.
Now all I wanted was to find my mom and to get some clear answers. If they ever found them. It had been ten months, and it turned out my father, giant asshole that he was, knew how to fuck everything up.
I heard footsteps coming up behind me and I tensed up, but they slowed down, and were merely following me.
One glance over my shoulder, and I expected to see William.
Gideon followed. No one else.
“I should have known you wouldn’t have the first clue how to be considerate of a woman’s feelings.”
“I’m not stopping you from walking.”
“No, but you won’t give me the privacy I need.”
“It’s not privacy you need.”
I stopped and spun around. “And you’re going to tell me what I need?”
“Family. Friends. Love.”
Coming from Gideon, this made me laugh. Out of all the men, he’d been the main asshole. The domineering prick who’d tried to intimidate and shock me with what was expected of me.
“Take a look around you, Gideon. Family, friends, and love are all fucking gone. When are you going to see that? When are you going to realize I’ve lost everything?” I didn’t care who heard me.
The world could go fuck off for all I cared. My pain was so fucking high on the rating right now. Nothing could help me, nor did I want it to. I hated everyone and everything. Nothing made sense to me. My hatred of everything was so strong.
“Sian,” Gideon said. “You haven’t lost everything.”
“I don’t have you guys. Don’t even for a second say something like that.”
“Why? Because it’s the truth and you know it?”
“No, because I don’t have you, none of you. You made promises you couldn’t keep, and don’t tell me if The Society didn’t give you an instruction, you wouldn’t follow it. My mother was handed to a fucking monster at their request. For nearly nineteen years, she’s been living this fucked-up life. When are you going to realize how messed up all of this is?” I asked.
There were nights I’d wake up and I’d stand outside Dante’s room, waiting. Tempted to go in and try to find some peace in his arms. They hadn’t touched me since Halloween night. Since their initiation. None of them cared to.
Was it on purpose? Did they even want me now? They got what they wanted and now I wasn’t important?
Only, they stayed.
Was it because of their dads?
It was Lucas, Gideon’s dad, who told me they were going to take care of me, but it was Dante I picked.
I felt like I should be loyal to Heather and not trust any of them. They were not my friends. They used me and got what they wanted. Damn it, I sounded like a broken record. For ten months, I’d been having the same old dance inside my head. Blaming them, wanting them, hating them, and I hated this the most: loving them.
I couldn’t stop.
I didn’t want to stop.
Gideon stepped closer. I held my ground as he got closer and closer until his arms were wrapped around me. His face pressed against my head.
“You’re wrong, Sian. We would do what we needed to for The Society. There are rules in place to keep us grounded, but I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. You’ve got to know that.” He kissed the top of my head again.
I grabbed the lapel of his jacket, pressing my face against his shirt, breathing him in. I missed his smell, slightly earthy with a hint of the luxury his life had to offer.
“You don’t know that.”
He held me tightly even as I wanted to get away.
“What happened with our dads and your mom, that wasn’t meant to be the deal. Alexander infiltrated them. He got between them, and it fucked everything up. He messed up their lives.”
“Without him, I wouldn’t be here.” After my memories and their sudden disappearance, along with the attack on the school, a brand-new paternity test had been taken. I was in fact Alexander’s. I was his daughter and Joan’s. Probably a good thing because while we were waiting for the results, I kept on being sick in my mouth at the thought of any of the guys being my brothers. That was just fucked up and gross.
We were not related in any way.
“And because of him, I’ve got to see this pain, every single day, Sian. I can’t stand it. I don’t want you to be hurting like this, and I think Heather would feel the same way.”
I tried to pull away at the mention of her name, but he held me firmly in his arms.
“No. You’re not going to fight me on this. You know I speak sense and the truth. Your best friend wouldn’t want you crying over her all the time. She’d want you to live your life, doing the things you wanted to do together. You’ve got to live for her now.” He cupped my cheek, tilting my head back, and I wondered if he was going to kiss me.