Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 86126 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86126 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
“Did you go to a birth center?” Lou asked. “Isn’t that where Esther went?”
“Oh, yeah. That’s what it’s called. That’s where I’ll be this time,” Noel replied easily. “But I had Ariel and Diana at home.”
The entire room went silent. I wasn’t even sure any of us were breathing.
“You had the girls at home?” Myla finally asked, her voice so low I barely heard her.
My eyes were on Noel, who was looking around the room like she didn’t what she’d said to make everyone act so strange.
“Yeah,” Noel replied, looking over to me. “I had a midwife. It wasn’t like I just did it alone.”
I gave her a small smile, even though my insides were twisting at the thought of her going through labor and having a baby in that garbage heap she’d called a home. I wanted to hit something, but more than that, I wanted to fucking weep.
“That’s—” Myla snapped her mouth shut.
“Wait,” Frankie said, holding her hand up. “Weren’t you like seventeen when you had Ariel?”
“Yes,” Noel replied.
“You had a baby, at home, when you were seventeen years old,” Frankie repeated, like she needed clarification.
Noel’s gaze was racing around the room again, like she couldn’t figure out how the conversation had gotten so heavy. Cian stood up and walked out without a word.
“I—” She finally looked at me in confusion. “What did I say?”
“Sugar,” I murmured, unsure what to say. Her eyes went soft at the endearment.
“I would rather have the baby at home,” she said, leaning toward me a little, trying to make me understand. “I’d rather be surrounded by my own things and sleep in my own bed and have the girls with me.”
“Yeah, that makes sense,” Bas said softly. “I get you.”
“My births are pretty easy,” she said, shrugging. “I mean, not easy, but nothing has ever gone wrong or anything. If I had trouble, then that would be different, but—”
“Okay,” I replied quietly, stretching my arm out across the back of the couch to brush my fingers over the side of her throat.
She swallowed hard. “I didn’t mean I want to have the baby here of course,” she rushed on. “I’m just nervous about the, uh, birth center.”
“Well, shit,” Frankie interrupted. “You might be the bravest and craziest woman I’ve ever met.”
“Hear, hear,” Lou cheered, lifting her beer in a salute.
“I was born at home,” Myla added, smiling reassuringly at Noel. “So, I mean, I can’t really knock it.”
“I heard that story,” Noel replied, turning toward my sister. She leaned, just barely, against my hand so I left it where it was, running my fingers lightly over the back of her neck. “Didn’t your dad deliver you?”
“He said it was the worst thing he’s ever done,” Myla joked. “That’s why I’m the last kid. I came so fast that the midwife didn’t even make it in time. They weren’t willing to chance that happening again.”
“Dad wasn’t willin’ to chance it,” I clarified. “Mom woulda had more.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Myla replied, grinning.
“And I just slept through all of it.” I smiled back at her.
“You should go tour the birth center,” Lou told Noel. “So, it’s not so nerve-racking when the time comes.”
Noel nodded. “I’ve seen it. That’s where my appointments are. I’m sure it will be fine.”
“What makes you so nervous about it?” Bas asked gently. “I’ve found that if you can name the shit that’s freakin’ you out, it’s easier to get past it.”
Noel shrugged sheepishly. “I’ve only had to go to the hospital once.” She shot a brief glance at me. “Being there or the birth center just makes me feel like something is wrong. It’s a lot of medical equipment and doctors and fluorescent lighting. They’re always coming in your room and poking at you.” She shook her head and made a dismissive gesture. “But, it’s fine. I’ll get over it.”
I remembered when she’d had to go to the hospital. When we were kids, a couple of goons from her church had beaten the shit out of us. My aunt was a nurse and had checked us over, deciding that we didn’t need medical treatment, but after Noel had gone back to her mom and brother, they’d taken her to the hospital anyway. I wish I could’ve been a fly on the wall when the nurses had seen her—they’d thought that Ephraim had beaten her and while he’d assured him that he wasn’t responsible, Noel hadn’t been willing to say anything to anyone. I hoped it was seriously uncomfortable for the douche.
My hand tightened on the back of her neck at the memory. When the guy twice my size had backhanded her, I’d lost my fucking mind.
Noel set her hand carefully on my thigh, patting it a few times as if to remind me she was okay. She left it there as the conversation moved on.