Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 86126 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86126 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
“That’s a bit of an understatement,” I agreed.
“Well, hopefully he came and swung his little dick around and now he’ll leave you alone,” she muttered.
I choked on nothing and Emilia laughed.
“Sorry, these Hawthornes have rubbed off on me,” she apologized. “I used to be sweet and innocent.”
I nodded. “Esther swears now, too,” I replied. “I’d never heard her swear before.”
“You should try it,” Emilia said impishly. “It’s really satisfying.”
Eventually, the house cleared out and it was just the seven of us, quietly getting the big kids into bed. We could hear Otto’s voice while he read a story to Flora, but much to their dismay, I corralled the girls into our room. Flora needed a little one-on-one time with her daddy. We’d been horning in on everything since we’d moved in, and with a new baby her life was about to change even more.
I read a book to the girls and then curled up beside them, listening as their breathing evened out in sleep. My eyes had finally closed and I was just starting to drift when the sound of Ansel’s cries came through the wall.
It happened again and again, just as I was about to fall asleep that newborn squall would make my eyes pop open on instinct. The next day wasn’t any better. Esther couldn’t put the baby down without him waking and screaming.
For the next three weeks, Esther, Otto and I took turns carrying him around strapped to our chests in a carrier. Sometimes, even that didn’t help.
His pediatrician said he was gaining plenty of weight so it must be colic and that he’d grow out of it. The midwife advised her to take Ansel to a chiropractor and talk to a nursing consultant. Nothing worked. They took Ansel back to the pediatrician. They couldn’t find anything wrong. The poor baby just fussed and cried unless he was being held.
Heather stopped by to carry him around so we could have a break. Emilia brought dinner. Nova and her grandma came over with toys for the girls and took their turns with Ansel. Myla stopped by one night, wrapped Ansel up tight, carried him outside, and walked with him for two hours while he fussed off and on. Even Otto’s brothers and Dad came by, bringing food and staying for a while so they could take their turns carrying around the baby boy.
Titus was at the house almost as often as Heather, taking the girls—and sometimes Ansel—outside to play for hours. I tried not to read too much into his nearly constant presence, but Esther sure did. I didn’t know how many times I hushed her when she started teasing him. Hey, Titus, you’re here again? Goodness, I’ve seen you more in the last few weeks than my entire relationship with your brother! I wonder why we’ve seen you so much lately…
I would’ve been angry that she wouldn’t let it go if I hadn’t seen how tired Esther was and how hard she was trying to make everything seem normal. If teasing me and Titus brightened her day a little, I wasn’t going to stop her.
Our nerves were frayed. None of us were sleeping. I felt so badly for my sister that I tried to pitch in wherever I could, but it was no use. There was only so much crying that anyone could take and we were all struggling.
Eventually, even the girls were wound tight.
One night, about an hour before bedtime, Ansel began to cry again. My mom had called it The Witching Hour when Ariel was a baby. I wasn’t sure what it was about that time of night, but almost like clockwork Ansel began to scream even though Otto was pacing back and forth with him at the bottom of the stairs.
For some reason, Diana decided that she’d had enough and started to wail too. It was like their voices were echoing off each other.
Esther started to cry, her face in her hands.
I snatched Diana off the floor and hurried her out to the front porch, giving her the pacifier I’d stashed in my pocket. She quieted almost instantly but continued to hiccup pitifully.
It was too much.
There were too many of us in the small house. I was so thankful for everything Otto and Esther had done for me and I knew that they’d never ask us to leave—but my sister was hanging on by a thread and having three extra people in her house all the time was making it worse.
I rocked Diana on the porch, thinking about all the ways I’d imagined helping Esther after she’d had the baby. I’d dreamed up a whole scenario where we’d sit side by side, nursing our happy babies while we watched the kids play in the yard. Instead, we’d become just one more thing for her to worry about on top of a newborn would couldn’t seem to settle.