Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 100713 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100713 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
“It is tough,” I said. “We managed to steal an hour or so on Sunday afternoon at this pond on his property—”
“Oh, I love that place,” said Blair wistfully. “It’s such a beautiful spot.”
I smiled, remembering what Beckett had told me about offering to sell the land to Griffin. “I’ve snuck into his room the last couple nights, but I always have to sneak right back out. Elliott sometimes looks for me in the middle of the night. I don’t want him to find an empty bed and get scared.”
“You said his sister is watching Elliott the night of the wedding, right?” Bianca asked. “Maybe you two could spend the night away somewhere. Like at a hotel or something.”
“I don’t know if I’d feel right about that,” I said hesitantly. “As much as I’d like to spend a whole night with Beckett, it would feel kind of irresponsible to abandon Elliott to do it. And I’m not sure Beckett would leave his dad overnight either. He has to help him get ready for bed and dressed in the morning and everything.”
“Wow.” Blair shook her head and sighed. “I can’t imagine what that must be like, to have to take care of your parent that way. If Griff and I ever have kids, I hope they’re as good to us as Beckett is to his dad.”
“But you guys will at least have each other,” I said. “Mr. Weaver doesn’t have anyone else.”
“Has he ever told you what happened to his mom?” Cheyenne asked curiously. “Why she left?”
I shook my head. “Nope. And he claims it was so long ago that it doesn’t matter, but I think deep down, it must.”
“I agree,” said Bianca. “I mean, maybe that’s why Beckett has never had a serious relationship. Something like that can really mess with you.”
“Maybe.” I shrugged. “But you know how Beckett is. He’ll never say that. What guy would?”
They all murmured in agreement and Cheyenne checked her phone. “It’s almost five, you guys. I better go.”
We said goodbye, and Blair and Bianca walked down the sidewalk toward the pub, while Cheyenne and I turned toward the public parking lot at the end of the block.
“That’s so great about you and Beckett,” she said. “Is there a chance you’ll try to make it work long distance?”
“I’m not sure,” I said honestly.
“Does Elliott ever spend weekends with his dad?”
“He’s supposed to, but Sam cancels a lot.”
She glanced at me. “That must be hard.”
“Unfortunately, Elliott is learning that he cannot depend on his father to keep his word. But he sees a therapist every other week, so I’m hoping that helps him recognize it’s not his fault.” I laughed a little. “We both see a therapist, actually.”
“Mariah sees a therapist too,” Cheyenne confided. “In fact, so does Cole.”
“Really?” We reached the lot, and I turned to face her.
“Yes. I don’t think he talks about it much, so Beckett might not even know, but he started going last year, when we first got together.”
I nodded, recalling what Beckett had told me about Cole losing his first wife. “Did he feel like he needed permission to date again or something?”
“Not so much that as he needed to deal with his fear of loss—of losing someone he loved. Things with us got serious quickly, and it scared him.”
“Wow. So did therapy help?”
“Definitely.” She smiled. “I doubt we’d be getting married next Saturday if he hadn’t dealt with those demons. So I think you’re doing the right thing in seeking therapy. And in sending Elliott.”
“I told Beckett the other night I thought everyone needed therapy,” I said, laughing. “He said it sounded horrible to him.”
She sighed. “Yeah, Beckett is probably like Cole was. He thought men just have to tough it out. And maybe Beckett is telling you the truth when he says it doesn’t matter about his mom leaving. He was just a baby, right? Does he even remember her?”
“No. He’s only seen pictures.” I paused. “But he said this one thing the other day, and I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“What did he say?”
“He was talking about marriage, and he said he thinks it’s too much to ask of someone—to stay forever.”
Her brows rose. “Really?”
“Yes.” I bit my lip. “It made me feel sad, but I couldn’t even argue with him.”
“Why not?”
“Because what if it’s true? What if he’s right and I want to be with you forever is just something people say when what they really mean is I want to be with you for now?”
Cheyenne took a deep breath. “I wish I had the answer. I think it’s something you just feel in your gut. In your bones. In your heart.”
I slapped my hands over my face and groaned. “God, I’m a terrible person. Here you are getting married next weekend and I’m droning on about doubt and fear. I’m so sorry, Cheyenne.”