Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 100713 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100713 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Not my finest performance.
“You look very serious,” she said. “And I don’t want to be that girl who needs to ask what a guy is thinking after sex, but I’m really wondering what you’re thinking.”
“For one thing, I’m thinking I should apologize.”
She looked surprised. “For what?”
“For my, uh, speed and general lack of finesse.” I grimaced. “It was not supposed to be over so quickly. Or end with me jumping out of bed to prevent my dad from burning the house down.”
“It’s probably a good thing it was over quickly, or else we’d be calling the fire department right now.” Her lush mouth curved into a shy smile. “And it wasn’t too quick. As a matter of fact, I sort of liked the pace. I didn’t have time to be nervous.”
“Nervous?” I stared at her. “What would you be nervous about?”
“Come on, you know me.” She moved closer, poking at my bare chest. “I get nervous about things.”
I wrapped my arms around her waist. “You had nothing to be nervous about. I was the one who boasted last night that I’d learned how to please a woman. And then when I had the chance to prove it, I forgot everything. It was freshman year all over again.”
She laughed. “It wasn’t, I promise. You pleased me quite beautifully. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been quite so pleased before in such a short amount of time.”
I groaned. “That’s not exactly the record I’d like to hold with you. I kept telling myself to calm down, but I couldn’t. I was a fucking bull in a china shop, smashing everything.”
“Listen, there’s something to be said for a woman being so irresistible to a man it renders him unable to control himself—provided she’s invited the bull into the china shop, of course. Which I had. It was me that snuck into your bedroom, remember?”
Was she kidding? I’d never forget that as long as I lived. “I remember.”
“Good.” She sighed, focusing on her fingertips, which brushed softly over my chest. “Beckett?”
“Hm?”
“We didn’t ruin our friendship, did we?”
“Doesn’t feel like it.”
“But what if—”
“Hey.” I shook her gently. “Let’s not invent things to worry about.”
“I’m not inventing them,” she insisted, meeting my eyes. “It’s a real thing that happens. Two people are friends and then they have sex, and everything gets weird. Don’t you remember that scene from When Harry Met Sally?”
“No.”
“Well, I do.” She shuddered. “It’s a woman’s worst nightmare.”
“Why?”
“Because she’s feeling all warm and cozy and happy, and he’s just like ‘Get me the fuck out of here.’ But he’s not saying that.” She tapped her knuckles on my sternum. “That’s you. You’re so quiet and thinky all the time. You don’t volunteer what’s on your mind.”
I had to laugh. “Thinky?”
“Yes! But I need the talky. Or I’ll fill in the blanks with bad stuff. I’ve got this voice in my head that loves to do that.”
I shook my head and tightened my arms around her. “Maddie. Do I seem like I want to get the fuck out of here?”
“No,” she admitted.
“Would it help if I told you that I’ve wanted you like that since we were seventeen?”
“Really?”
“Or that keeping my hands off you last night took every ounce of my self-control?”
Her eyes widened, like she was a little bit scandalized. “You hid it well.”
“Thank you. But you can stop worrying.” I kissed her forehead. “We did not ruin our friendship.”
She smiled. “And it won’t be weird tomorrow?”
“It won’t be weird tomorrow.”
Her body relaxed and she pressed her cheek to my chest. “Good. Because I like having you in my life.”
I held her for a moment, resting my lips on her hair, gently caressing her back, feeling warm and protective and wishing there was some way—any way—to keep her in my arms until the sun came up.
But I knew that was impossible.
Eventually she sighed and said, “I guess we should go get some sleep, huh?”
“Probably.”
Neither of us moved for another thirty seconds, and then she started to laugh. “Come on, or we’ll be standing here all night.”
After turning out the lights, we walked up the stairs hand in hand, and whispered goodnight in the hallway between our bedroom doors.
It felt all wrong as I watched her disappear into the darkness of the guest room and close the door behind her. But what could I do? The divide that separated us was bigger than just a hallway.
Back in my own bedroom, I left the door ajar and got back into bed alone.
Nine
Maddie
I shut the door as softly as I could and crawled back into bed, pulling the covers up to my shoulders and curling into a ball, as if the memory of Beckett’s body on mine was something that might escape if I didn’t hold onto it tight enough.
I never wanted to forget this feeling. Not for one moment.