Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 100713 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100713 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
“Hm.”
“I have to tell you something, and I don’t want you to be mad.”
Opening my eyes, I gave her a funny look. “Okay.”
“You promise?”
“I can’t imagine there’s anything you could tell me that would make me mad. Unless you’ve been faking your orgasms.”
“I have not been faking my orgasms,” she said dutifully.
“Then shoot.”
She got to her knees and sat back on her heels. “Okay. First, let me say that I am not proud of myself.”
“Maddie. Spit it out.”
“Okay.” Squeezing her eyes shut, she exhaled. “I Googled Caroline.”
“Oh.”
“And then I sort of cyber-stalked her.”
“Why?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know, because I was curious. Because I was jealous. Because it’s something that women do to torture themselves—we look up a guy’s ex and then obsess over all the ways she’s better than we are.”
I put a hand behind my head. “That’s messed up.”
“I know. But I did it today while your dad was taking his nap. And I hate myself for it.”
“Maddie, she’s not better than you in any way.”
Her jaw fell open. “Beckett, I saw her. She’s perfect. She looks like Nicole Kidman and Blake Lively had a baby.”
I laughed. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
“You know what I mean. She’s so tall and leggy. She looks amazing in everything. Her hair is that perfect shade of Daenerys Targaryen blond. Her blowout is always flawless. Her eyebrows are killer.”
“Her eyebrows?”
“Yes.” She covered her forehead with both hands. “I hate my eyebrows. I never hated them before, but I hate them now.”
“Maddie, you’re being ridiculous.” I tugged her arms down. “You have nothing to be jealous about or torture yourself over. And if you’re curious about something, you can ask me.”
“I can?”
“Yes.”
She bit her lip. “How long were you together?”
“Two years, off and on.”
“Wikipedia said she was once rumored to be engaged to a hedge fund analyst. Was that you?”
“Yes. But we were never actually engaged.” I paused. “We went into a jewelry store once and someone saw us and turned it into a story.”
Her jaw dropped. “You went ring shopping?”
“Actually we were just walking by the windows at Tiffany one day, and she saw something she liked. She dragged me in there so she could try it on. That was it.”
“Oh.”
“I never considered buying her a ring. I never considered proposing. I never even considered living with her.”
Maddie nodded slowly. “Did you love her?”
I exhaled, putting the second hand behind my head. “Honestly, I don’t know. Love has never been an easy thing for me to understand. I certainly never told her I loved her.”
“No?”
“I’ve never said those words to anyone.”
She thought about that for a moment, then snuggled up next to me again. “I saw a bunch of pictures of you guys together at various galas and balls around Manhattan.”
I groaned. “I fucking hated those things.”
“I have to admit, you didn’t look too happy in the photos.”
I wrapped my arms around her. “I am much happier right here, right now.”
“Good.” She kissed my chest. “Sorry for being silly. I know it shouldn’t matter to me who you spent your time with in New York, or even if you were madly in love with her.”
“I wasn’t. So you can stop the cyber-stalking.”
Her laugh was sheepish. “Okay. Thanks for talking about this with me.”
“You’re welcome.”
She lay down again. Brushed her fingertips over my chest. “I only have three more nights here.”
I swallowed, hearing Moretti’s voice in my head. “I think you’ll be back, don’t you?”
“For visits, you mean?”
“Or you could move back.”
She went completely still. “I suppose I could. If I had a really good reason.”
My heart was hammering fast. I felt as if I’d run too fast toward the edge of a cliff and had to catch my balance and back up. “What about the chocolate shakes at the diner?”
“Those are definitely good, but I’m not sure they’re worth an interstate move.”
“Blair’s apple pie?”
“Also amazing,” she said with a sigh, “but probably not a good enough reason to quit my job and uproot my kid.”
I thought for a moment, desperate for another joke to avoid the truth. “I’ve got it! Old man baseball.”
“Um . . .”
“You mean you’re not going to be awake all night because you’re so excited to see your first Bellamy Creek Bulldogs game tomorrow night?”
She patted my chest. “I will definitely struggle to sleep. I can’t wait.”
“But it’s not a reason to move back, huh?”
“Not really.” She laughed softly. “But I bet you could think of something that would tempt me. An offer I couldn’t refuse.”
I exhaled. “You’re a tough cookie, Maddie Blake. But I’ll try.”
In the back of my mind, I heard Moretti clucking like a goddamn hen.
Sixteen
Maddie
Thursday night, we all went to the first Bellamy Creek Bulldogs game of the season.
It was a gorgeous summer evening, about seventy degrees with a cool breeze, and we piled into Beckett’s truck right after an early dinner.