Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 83100 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 416(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83100 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 416(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
“Ruslan, get him out!” Her pitch rises, fingers trembling around the knife.
“I’ll come back,” I tell her matter-of-factly and step out of the hospital room.
I’m sitting on one of the plain chairs when a large shadow falls on me. I stare up to find Vladimir’s boring bloody face.
First Kirill and Damien, and now Vladimir. Fucking perfect.
“You should go home, Kyle.”
“I’m fine,” I spit out.
“You have dark circles and you stink.”
Of course I do. I haven’t changed clothes since the day I brought her here, and I’ve been washing up in the hospital bathroom. I also sleep sitting up in the seat because I can’t let my guard down.
“Do you want her to see you this way?” Vladimir asks, but it’s clearly rhetorical since he continues. “Go shower, change clothes, and then come back. She’s not going nowhere.”
I don’t like the way he speaks to me. It’s that fucking Russian condescension that runs in all their blood.
“I’ll stand guard in front of her room until your return. She’s asleep anyway.”
I throw a glance at her. She’s lying on her back, eyes closed, and her hand is splayed above her head on the pillow. It was one of her most adorable habits that she eventually got rid of.
If she’s really going to be the Rai from ten years ago, that means she might never accept me as her husband again.
I try to pretend that doesn’t slice me open in a hundred different painful ways.
Staggering to my feet, I motion at Peter to stay in front of her room. I lean in to whisper, “Tell me if anything happens.”
“Yes, sir,” he murmurs back.
He’s a useless kid in battle, but he’s good when it comes to spying, at least.
As I leave the hospital, I vow one thing.
I’ll make sure Rai remembers me, even if it’s the last thing I do.
4
Rai
I lie still in bed.
My gaze is set on the ceiling, and it’s not because of its plain white color. I keep wondering when on earth my life went wrong.
It’s not only because of the accident or the situation I find myself in. I think it started the day I chose to be in Reina’s shoes and become the Bratva’s next princess.
At that time, all I thought about was my twin sister’s safety, but…I was also attracted to this life, to the danger, to the bursts of excitement that didn’t exist in my calm life with Dad.
One thing led to another and I started running after danger so I could grab it by the horns.
What I didn’t know is that during that race, I lost pieces of myself, of the little girl who loved her family and was ready to do anything for them.
The sense of protection Dedushka implemented in me has grown to become a monster whose shadow follows me everywhere.
The only way to get rid of it is to completely give up, to blow away my goals and everything I’ve worked for thus far.
During my life in the Bratva, I’ve seen grown men tremble in fear because of what they’ve done. I’ve been surrounded by men who go to unimaginable lengths for power, money, and everything the brotherhood offers.
I never wanted to be one of those men. And unlike what they think, I never wanted to rule over them or snatch the throne with ruthless hands as they do.
The only thing I ever wanted was to be recognized for what I have to offer, regardless of whether or not I have a penis between my legs.
I never once had any misconceptions about what I am or what I can do. I knew my limits and my strengths, and did everything to remain on top of things.
So how come in a fraction of a second, I find myself in the middle of nowhere? How come I’ve stooped as low as thinking about giving up?
You might not be a man, but you’re a Sokolov, Rai. And do you know what Sokolovs do? We snatch the throne even if the price is high. Don’t be afraid to shed blood, even if it’s your own.
Dedushka’s words slam into me like an earthquake, rattling me from the inside out. Who am I to give up? My life isn’t the only one at stake. There’s also my twin sister, Sergei, and Ana—whom my granduncle forbade from visiting me for security reasons. There’s no way in hell I’d give up on them even if I give up on myself.
The door opens then closes before Vlad strides inside with his usual broody silence.
Sometimes, he looks just like the ceiling I was staring at: strong, hard, and impenetrable. And I need that strength right now.
It’s not bad to admit I’m weak. It’s just another form of strength.
“Do you feel better?”
“Is he outside?” I murmur.
“No. I convinced him to go change his clothes.”
“Finally.”
He lowers himself into the chair opposite me, his frame dwarfing it. “Why were you so insistent on having him leave?”