Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 80602 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80602 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
“You have an awful lot of questions for someone who, according to your own words, doesn’t give a fuck about me.”
I purse my lips shut to not divulge all the chaos that’s been building for years. If I do, he’ll know how much he hurt me, and I will never give him that type of power over me again.
“Just know this, Kyle: I would never trust you. Not now, not in the future.”
He continues watching me with unnerving silence but says nothing. He doesn’t even attempt to answer any of my questions or get closer. He’s happy with being miles apart from me while the closest moment we’ve ever had was when his body was sinking into mine.
I try not to let that piece of information get to me, but it slices me open from the inside like a thousand cuts. I’m bleeding, but he doesn’t see it. I’m choking, but he’d never allow me air.
“Let me go.” My voice is numb, monotone. “I need to shower and buy the morning-after pill.”
Surprisingly, he does release me. I wait for him to say something, anything, but he turns around and leaves. He doesn’t close the door, but the emptiness he leaves behind echoes in the silent bathroom.
I take a scalding shower, rubbing his dried cum from between my thighs and holding in the tears barging into my eyes.
You’re not going to cry because of that man, Rai. Not again.
I close my eyes, letting the stream cover me whole as I think about Dedushka, Dad, and Mom, the people I lost and can never have again. Even Reina feels too far sometimes. Actually, it’s most of the time.
I seem to be an expert at that—losing people I consider family. Sergei will leave, too. Then, it’ll just be me and Ana. All alone.
Well, I am married, but does it even matter if Kyle remains a closed vault? Does it matter when, at every turn, I can’t shake off the feeling that he’ll leave?
Sighing, I step out of the shower and wrap myself in a towel.
I don’t find Kyle in the room. He’s inside the closet, standing in front of his small section, wearing only boxers.
My feet falter at the entrance, contemplating whether or not I should go in there.
“I don’t bite,” he says without meeting my gaze.
“I do.” I approach so we’re standing in a parallel line.
“Good to know, so if you’re pregnant, you’ll be able to protect our child.”
“I’m not pregnant.” I pull out a set of simple matching underwear.
“You don’t know that.” He faces me as he shoves his feet into black pants.
I slide the panties up my legs under the towel. “I won’t allow it to happen.”
“You know the morning-after pill actually slaughters the child if he’s already formed, right?”
“If you want to make someone feel guilty, maybe you should start with yourself, considering you intend on leaving.”
“I didn’t say that. Your trust issues did.”
“Trust issues?” I throw the towel away and snap my bra into place. “Do you think they came to be without a reason? Like, one day I was just sitting there and they fell on me from the sky?”
“Point is, you have them.” He slides into a shirt and takes his time buttoning it. “Don’t pass them on to our baby.”
“There’s no baby.”
He lifts a shoulder. “As far as you know.”
“It’s a fact.”
“You won’t know it for a fact until at least a few weeks from now when our baby is growing beautifully in your womb.”
“And then what? You’ll just be a doting father who will attend delivery classes with me and give me foot massages?” I mock.
“If that’s what you need, sure.”
My lips fall open and I pause with the sleeve of my dress up my shoulder. “Stop saying things like that.”
“Like what? Like I will be there for you and our baby? Like I will read him or her a goodnight story, then come fuck you senseless in our bedroom? Those types of things?”
“Yes, those types of things. Stop lying.”
He stands in front of me, shirt tucked into his pants, and runs his fingers through his hair, forcing it to submit to his will. Then, he casually turns me around and zips up my dress before he whispers against my ear, “You stop lying to yourself.”
I push off him to leave the closet, but he tsks.
“Not so fast.”
I groan as I face him. He’s holding the toy. Of course.
“I’m putting a time limit on this.” I jut my chin.
“Time limit?”
“In two weeks, if you don’t give me the information we agreed on, you won’t be putting any toys inside me.”
“But you like the toys inside you.”
“I do not. They’re bound to make me appear weak in front of the other members of the elite group.”
“And you hate that more than anything,” he finishes, voice calm.